Kimbo Slice is back!

***Tranquil Suit*** · Posted On: 7/15/2011 5:10pm

Originally Posted by atomicpoet

Kimbo Slice's opponent has been named and it's... James Wade! He's compiled an astonishing record of 0-1!

Bernard Hopkins was 0-1 at some point. You never know with these guys.

**Holy Moment** · Posted On: 7/15/2011 5:21pm

Originally Posted by Tranquil Suit

Bernard Hopkins was 0-1 at some point. You never know with these guys.

Other examples include Henry Armstrong, Alexis Arguello, Billy Conn, and Mike Weaver. The odds are slim that James Wade will ever become a champion, though.

Even if he turns out to be tough, he's still an entry-level fighter who was KOed in his first bout, which is why he was matched up with Kimbo. I hope he wins so the boxing community will use it as an example of why MMA sucks, and that will amuse me.

**atomicpoet** · Posted On: 7/20/2011 11:30pm

Kimbo Slice's boxing career has gotten more ridiculous.

First, Nicholas Cage's son Weston is "training UFC" so he can become a "UFC fighter" -- and has called out Kimbo Slice. Just in case you're curious who we're dealing with, this is Weston Cage:

This is Weston Cage's black metal band Eyes of Noctum:

Here's Weston Cage taking 13 punches hard to the face:

Here's Weston Cage saying he lost because he got punched in the balls and his "equilibrium was off":

This has prompted Jared Shaw, Kimbo Slice, to question Weston's sanity:

"Mental stability would have had [Weston] think twice about his wishes to fight a street certified, cage tested, and boxing ring ready Kimbo Slice."

Shaw also jabbed, "Kimbo is Nic Cage famous ... and Weston's 15 minutes are up."

Tough talk aside, the rep says Kimbo's happy to fight Weston ... but only in a boxing ring.

Now, keep in mind Jared Shaw is not necessarily the best judge of mental stability. While most people know Jared Shaw as the son of well known boxing promoter Gary Shaw, he also moonlights as $kala, a straight from the streets rapper:

Here's his Facebook Page bio:

Son of Legendary Boxing Promoter Gary Shaw , Jared Ryan Shaw is a survivor of Open-Heart surgery, & a Poet for the Wows & Woes of Romance. He has a knack for speaking the truths and inconstancies of love and relationships .. a mouthpiece for what woman want and how they feel, he takes to the platform of stage and sound to reach hearts and ears alike.

That's right. Jara Shaw, aka $kala, is mouthpiece for what women want.

I think this GIF is a metaphor for Kimbo Slice's post MMA career:

**Frankenpoo** · Posted On: 7/21/2011 11:04am

Not Kimbo again :(

**Super8astard** · Posted On: 7/21/2011 2:36pm

I thought the UFC didn't let chicks fight?

**martial arts sk** · Posted On: 7/24/2011 4:20pm

come at me bro!

***Tranquil Suit*** · Posted On: 8/14/2011 4:36am

Oh boy, here we go again:

**Super8astard** · Posted On: 8/14/2011 4:49am

Originally Posted by Tranquil Suit

Oh boy, here we go again:

Gotta take it with a grain of salt since he's fighting a can, but god damn... did he died?

**bobyclumsyninja** · Posted On: 8/15/2011 2:07am

Originally Posted by Super8astard

Gotta take it with a grain of salt since he's fighting a can, but god damn... did he died?

God bless you god, get that man an adult diaper, STAT.

**Super8astard** · Posted On: 8/15/2011 2:20am

Originally Posted by bobyclumsyninja

God bless you god, get that man an adult diaper, STAT.

This made me think of Metalaccolypse where they were all drunk riding the murdercycle and Murderface falls off it... After comming to a stop from sliding down the street on his face he's lying there stiff with blood pooling up under his head and piss pooling around his shorts... I bet Wade knows exactly how that felt.