You Will Never Be Cool: Inspired by BS

**Lampa** · Posted On: 6/28/2011 12:21pm

So, I found out this morning that interviews for US Combat Sports with Charlie Brenneman and Tyson Jeffries would both be late. So, I wanted to come up with some filler for the morning and went with something different that falls between historical fiction and creative nonfiction. It heavily draws from stories and experiences I've had with fellow bullies, so I thought I'd share.

http://uscombatsports.com/index.php?...152&Itemid=325

**yli** · Posted On: 6/28/2011 12:48pm

Being cool is for stuck up twats.

I'd rather be smug in my knowledge that I can kick cool people in the side of the head.

***WhiteShark*** · Posted On: 6/28/2011 2:05pm

I didn't think you kicked that high in Krav? Aren't you exposing your testicles?

**Soldiermedic** · Posted On: 6/28/2011 2:11pm

I thoroughly enjoy that the first comment on the website started off with, "I don't think this article is being completely fair. Sure, we as elite athletes..."

Your next article should be about how none of us are elite, and most lilkely, we never will be

**BKR** · Posted On: 6/28/2011 2:13pm

Originally Posted by WhiteShark

I didn't think you kicked that high in Krav? Aren't you exposing your testicles?

Part of the secrets of Krav is to learn how to pull your testes up into the abdominal cavity.

**Slamurai** · Posted On: 6/28/2011 2:26pm

Originally Posted by BKR

Part of the secrets of Krav is to learn how to pull your testes up into the abdominal cavity.

You mean your ass?

**Dak** · Posted On: 6/28/2011 2:54pm

I believe this article should be written in reversed letters and then stapled to the head of every MA participant so that every morning when they look in the mirrors they are reminded of their status in life (provided they cut eyeholes).

That being said, I'm not cool because of MA. I'm cool because i can ROCK YOUR **** at super smash brothers.

**yli** · Posted On: 6/28/2011 3:45pm

Originally Posted by BKR

Part of the secrets of Krav is to learn how to pull your testes up into the abdominal cavity.

We obviously practice Iron Crotch.

That and after a while, you will think up different ways to protect your balls.

**doofaloofa** · Posted On: 6/30/2011 8:00pm

yli said twats again!

***battlefields*** · Posted On: 6/30/2011 8:26pm

Homer: So I realized that being with my family is more important than being cool.
Bart: Dad, what you just said was powerfully uncool.
Homer: You know what the song says: "It's hip to be square."
Lisa: That song is so lame.
Homer: So lame that it's... cool?
Bart and Lisa: No.
Marge: Am I cool, kids?
Bart and Lisa: No.
Marge: Good. I'm glad. And that's what makes me cool—not caring, right?
Bart and Lisa: No.
Marge: Well, how the hell do you be cool? I feel like we've tried everything here.
Homer: Wait, Marge. Maybe if you're truly cool, you don't need to be told you're cool.
Bart: Well, sure you do.
Lisa: How else would you know?