Are you sure? - Just kick me already.

**Bruise Lee** · Posted On: 6/19/2011 2:48pm

Right, first post here but it was either this topic or ”Ki as a training tool” :-)

Ponder the following story: At a Midsummers party (Midsummer is big binchdrinking events in my part of the world) I get picked randomly by a few lads debating some self defence MA thing as I was on my way to get a new, preferably cold, beer.

The lads have some argument on how to defend against kick or something. The guy having the “ultimate solution” calls me into a ring of guys. He asks, rather commands, me to kick him.

I say nope, “I don’t like kicking random people i don’t know - it usually hurts somebody”. He insist. I say no again “Beer and kicking don’t mix well”. Again, he insists claiming that he “knows what he is doing” and “knows [some MA, can’t remember which]”. “Kick me!”

I knew very few at this party and in retrospect I should have just walked away. But I did not for reasons explained below (today, a decade+ wiser I would have even if I still subscribe to the reasons below).

At the time being 20 and pretty well conditioned, leg muscles especially, standing in kibadachi days on end, I make a slow drunken style imitation kick, well off target, but remain with my leg out, above waist height for 5+ seconds while making a monkey sounding drunken kung fu cry without any enthusiasm and then starts walking of. I really wanted that cold beer.

Now the, IM(NPC)HO, idiot, stops me and says “No, no, you must really hit me, I will not hurt you. You must do it real, don’t worry, you can’t hurt me.

Now please se blow for my reasons. I say “okay”, do the strange but common MA tick of dual handed pulling up my pants’ legs by pinching on the thighs (you all know the move) and ask him if he is ready.

He says “Kick me”. Here I am first thinking of scissor kick (my favorite kick at the time) his jaw and let that be the end of it. But I, being a wee bit tipsy that a) I probably can’t do that in any sort of controlled fashion and b) Whatever strain of genes he is carrying should not continue its rampage in the human evolution.

So I, consequently, sink my shin into his groin.

Around me were 20ish lads that I didn’t know, likely his friends so I admit it might not have been a smart move.

He goes down like a cartoon character cliché sounding like a gurgling Weiner sängerknabe. I get ready to run but everybody around laugh their heads of and a girl with a smile the like I never seen hands me an ice cold beer.

No for my reasons:

I have always been told by the MA guys I hung with at the time “You never, ever, ask someone you do not know to kick you”. You do not know them, what they do etc and anybody doing so deserves to get their behinds handed to them.

I do, maybe still, believe I gave him more than fair warning. I tried to walk away. I gave him the slow very controlled kick showing him that I could kick. After that he had his chances. He didn’t even specify how to kick him since he “knew [MA I can’t remember]”.

Your thoughts – right or wrong? You ever heard of the rule of “Never, ever, ask someone you do not know to kick you”?

**judoka_uk** · Posted On: 6/19/2011 2:53pm

Half way through making up that story did you get writers block and have to call up from the basement for Mom to fetch you some more cookies?

**CrackFox** · Posted On: 6/19/2011 2:55pm

Never put a live weasel down your trousers. That's what my MA buddies always say to me.

**ProfessorChaos** · Posted On: 6/19/2011 2:57pm

IM(NPC)HO

Instant Message (Non-Player Character) Prostitute?

**Lindz** · Posted On: 6/19/2011 3:00pm

IM(NPC)HO

In My (National Provincial Champion's)Humble Opinion?

**Bruise Lee** · Posted On: 6/19/2011 3:00pm

Could be. But: In My (Not Publicly Confirmed) Humble Opinion.

**Cullion** · Posted On: 6/19/2011 3:13pm

I am going to track you down, and add all of your female relatives as facebook friends.

**CrackFox** · Posted On: 6/19/2011 3:13pm

Originally Posted by ProfessorChaos

IM(NPC)HO

Instant Message (Non-Player Character) Prostitute?

Originally Posted by Bruise Lee

Could be. But: In My (Not Publicly Confirmed) Humble Opinion.

I think Prof. Chaos' version makes the most sense.

**Dak** · Posted On: 6/19/2011 3:24pm

I do not feel that the question presented was worth such a lengthy and fictional story.

**crappler** · Posted On: 6/19/2011 3:41pm

We are not impressed. You surprised him, instead of throwing a kick he would have expected with the kind of force that would impress us. See the "5 seconds" thread for **** that impresses us.