Rude Jitsu

**ProfessorChaos** · Posted On: 6/14/2011 10:00pm

Originally Posted by Necroyunus

That's not rude...that's gay

Anything gay OR hetero is rude while grappling. Grappling should be asexual.

**HereBeADragon** · Posted On: 6/14/2011 10:16pm

I don't really have any dick moves. If someone does something while rolling that pisses me off I just threaten bodily harm or loss of life and limb. So far no one has taken up the offer.

**Uncle Skippy** · Posted On: 6/15/2011 1:41am

When sweeping, I will hold people past the "tipping point" (where their base is completely destroyed and the sweep is inevitable), SLOWLY get my finishing transition grips, and THEN finish the sweep in slow motion with a smile.

I will then take a VERY high mount just below their chin. So I'm just about sitting on their jaw.

Oh, and I removed my pants before starting the sweep.

**Necroyunus** · Posted On: 6/15/2011 1:54am

Originally Posted by Uncle Skippy

When sweeping, I will hold people past the "tipping point" (where their base is completely destroyed and the sweep is inevitable), SLOWLY get my finishing transition grips, and THEN finish the sweep in slow motion with a smile.

I will then take a VERY high mount just below their chin. So I'm just about sitting on their jaw.

Oh, and I removed my pants before starting the sweep.

Ahahaha

It made me remember this

sometimes when i am just about to finish the submission, i see their hands getting ready for the tap
So I just don't finish it
And what happens is that awkward moment for the opponent
If he gives up on tapping and starts to try to escape i quickly get it to the point where he will tap again...but dont finish it...

If I feel he gets frustrated and feels like he is gonna tap anyways I just create a HUGE gap so he escapes...

:foreveralone:

(No, i am kidding, i have no life and i don't have anyone to roll with)

**Coach Josh** · Posted On: 6/15/2011 2:29am

I could write a great collection. I will preface this with this statement. I did none of these things unprovoked. My motto is don't start none won't be none. If you decide to go down Dick Lane I can assure you I know all the twists, turns, potholes, back alleys, medians, cross walks, and the little old lady that sits at the corner of Dick Lane and Asshole Throughway.

Standing
1. Press the lapel grip into the neck.
2. Knee to the inside of the thigh.
3. Uppercut or cross while holding the lapel.
4. Kick instead of sweep.
5. Shake out the rug.
6. Overhand slap on the back.
7. Land on top after a throw.
8. Ten more that are just horrible.

On the mat
1. Hip bone in the eye socket during kami shiho
2. Reaching between the legs when they turtle and flip them over their head.
3. Driving my elbows into any place that will hurt.
4. Same for my knees like knee on belly to spine.
5. Running my chin right over the hip joint during a pass.
7. Knuckle chokes.
8. Pinning a limb to the mat and then running my chin bone over the muscle and pinch it to the bone.
9. Three more that can not be spoken of in public.

**Robstafarian** · Posted On: 6/15/2011 2:46am

Originally Posted by Coach Josh

I could write a great collection. I will preface this with this statement. I did none of these things unprovoked. My motto is don't start none won't be none. If you decide to go down Dick Lane I can assure you I know all the twists, turns, potholes, back alleys, medians, cross walks, and the little old lady that sits at the corner of Dick Lane and Asshole Throughway.

Would you mind writing an article, an ebook, or some other sort of compendium which includes this knowledge? Reading this thread suddenly made me think of BJJ like a childhood fight with my brother, and that was some fucked up repugnant ****. It would be great to walk into my first BJJ class knowing the warning signs that Classmate X is a dick I can't trust with my safety.

**Colin** · Posted On: 6/15/2011 6:28am

Originally Posted by W. Rabbit

Not when it works.

Tao's armbar-leg-shake is way gayer.

He is literally humping his opponent's leg.

humping their arm?

**judoka_uk** · Posted On: 6/15/2011 6:47am

Elbow to the nose during the ‘elbow show’ grip break and or Makikomi attempt.

As Coach Josh says uppercut with the lapel hand on the gi is a good one

Throwing someone off the mat or into chairs/bins/ a wall.

When you’re applying a Koshi jime/ Clock choke with your hand controlling their opposite side forearm. Circle round and at the point where you’ve bent their head down to their shoulder and your body obscures the view slip your hand on the forearm through and tap the mat really hard and quick. Ref will think it’s your opponent tapping and give you the score.

Throwing the arm over the top with simultaneous headbutt.

**W. Rabbit** · Posted On: 6/15/2011 7:39am

Originally Posted by Colin

humping their arm?

Yep that's what I meant to write.

**tao.jonez** · Posted On: 6/15/2011 8:12am

Originally Posted by SifuJason

Did you that before you came to the first TD I showed it at? If so, awesome. If not, also awesome.

edit: noticed you already said where u found it.

Yeah, and actually I posted about it a few weeks before the TD (someplace in here, but I'm not looking for it.)

What's it called? Parallel evolution?