MMA pretender litmus test - how to spot a poser without sparring him?

**Boneless** · Posted On: 6/10/2011 6:14pm

start sneezing while he is bragging and lying,
(increase loudness as he goes on)
When he (finaly) stops his his ego trip and askes whats wrong
you just reply:

Oh i'm sorry but i'm alergic to bullshit

**The Juggernoob** · Posted On: 6/10/2011 7:53pm

Ask him what joint a kimura manipulates. If he answers with "arm", punch him in the face.

This works btw. A lot of people have got caught out on the spot with this.

**Disastorm** · Posted On: 6/10/2011 8:34pm

Originally Posted by bigmike_ebw

Ask him what joint a kimura manipulates. If he answers with "arm", punch him in the face.

This works btw. A lot of people have got caught out on the spot with this.

Thats interesting, it sounds like that might actually be the best suggestion on this thread so far.

***Omega Supreme*** · Posted On: 6/10/2011 8:50pm

Originally Posted by bigmike_ebw

Ask him what joint a kimura manipulates. If he answers with "arm", punch him in the face.

This works btw. A lot of people have got caught out on the spot with this.

Let me guess, you don't know how a kimura works.

**Matt Phillips** · Posted On: 6/10/2011 9:01pm

Originally Posted by Disastorm

Thats interesting, it sounds like that might actually be the best suggestion on this thread so far.

This is a trick question: Ude Garami done correctly attacks the elbow.

**Boyd** · Posted On: 6/10/2011 10:21pm

Originally Posted by Omega Supreme

In the past I'd just tell them that they sound like they're full of ****.

Pretty much. If you've been training for more than a year this **** becomes obvious almost instantly. Either they go ballistic with terminology they obviously got off the web or they mutter vague pleasantries about how they gotta something something hips, something something gotta work on my kneebar game.

Generally, when someone is setting off my bullshit alarm, I ask leading questions. Not retarded **** like "Have you tried the myahoff lifter yet?", which they can easily just say no to, but something open-ended like "how do you set up your kimura? What if they escape?"

Even if they have an answer, if you've actually been training you can easily give a more technical response that exposes them as, if nothing else, ignorant.

Then beat them up.

**Aikironin21** · Posted On: 6/11/2011 12:26am

I don't train in MMA, but wouldn't pierced ears usually be a quick giveaway? The poser tools I know have huge holes in their earlobes with these long spikes, or entangling objects through them. They think they are a symbol of their manliness. I just see first strike capabilities for me.

**DOHC_Holiday** · Posted On: 6/11/2011 12:36am

Originally Posted by Aikironin21

I don't train in MMA, but wouldn't pierced ears usually be a quick giveaway? The poser tools I know have huge holes in their earlobes with these long spikes, or entangling objects through them. They think they are a symbol of their manliness. I just see first strike capabilities for me.

"Fight Club became the reason to cut your hair short or trim your fingernails."

**Uncle Skippy** · Posted On: 6/11/2011 12:39am

Was this at a key party by chance?

If so, be sure to draw his keyring.

You'll have your answer soon enough.

**W. Rabbit** · Posted On: 6/11/2011 12:51am

Ask him how a mere judoka could possibly have broken Helio Gracie's arm (twice) since BJJ is supposed to be the d3adly gr4pple.

Ask him if he knows that judoka's name.

See if he gets angry, that should give you a rough estimate of how long he's been a BJJ nutrider.