Torn ligament- this can't be good.

**Evergrey** · Posted On: 6/09/2011 1:45pm

OSU, I will work through it. I'm stubborn as hell. :}
Pretty used to people making a lot of snap judgments about me because of my weight too. I won't let them stop me from living my life, working out, eating healthy, being happy, or anything else I choose to do. I would say if anybody doubted how hard I work that they could come visit the dojo and see, but that's gonna have to wait about half a year now. :/

Guess I'll start lifting weights.

*edit* My sensei just showed up to take me to the doctor's. He's wearing a Winnie the Pooh shirt, lol. <3

**tao.jonez** · Posted On: 6/09/2011 1:57pm

On a non-medical note:

Don't let the break in training get you down. If you're used to being physically active it can be depressing and frustrating to have to sit back and heal.

Work with your doc or a trained sport therapist to find an activity you can do safely while you heal.

Anecdote - during the weeks before I got back to boxing I went in to the school and worked on wrist locks and knife disarms. Sitting on the mat. It wasn't what I wanted to do, but it kept me engaged and allowed me to observe the classes without feeling like a useless sack.

**monkeypoo8762** · Posted On: 6/09/2011 2:16pm

I earned myself a Grade 2 MCL tear in my right knee two weeks ago. I feel your pain as I had just started a training and diet regimen to get jacked by the end of summer. Now I'm stuck in a soft brace for the next few months while I do physical therapy and ride a stationary bike.

Most people had it right with the "x-ray, MRI, surgery (if needed), and physical therapy" suggestions. Don't forget your rest, ice, and elevation for a while to get all that swelling down. My doc also prescribed me naproxin to help with the swelling.

Good luck with everything and don't get down on yourself. I already caught myself snapping at a coworker for no reason, went and did some pushups and sit ups until I was tired and felt much better.

**doofaloofa** · Posted On: 6/09/2011 6:45pm

Sorry for your trouble. Makes my acheing balls pale into insignifigance. Stay possitive

**Evergrey** · Posted On: 6/09/2011 6:59pm

Thank you!

I almost smacked a lady with my crutches at costco today, heh. She was standing in the pharmacy line in her way too huge vomited on by a bedazzler sunglasses, texting, and instead of letting me by to the bench, she made me hobble my gimpy self around her. In with the Buddah, out with the Hitler, heh. I think people often just have no awareness of anything going on around them. Or maybe it's just apathy. Wasn't worth it to start anything though... I get really short tempered when I'm injured.

Sitting still is really hard for me. I was a gymnast when I was young, and as an adult I'd hike around in the hills for hours, climb up and down cliffs, go dancing, whatever. When I got my back injury and I lost the ability to do just about everything, I really realized how much I'd taken for granted. Like being able to put on your own damned chonies. Or being able to wash yourself. Or roll over onto your side.

I mean ****, my mom was kind enough to come up and stay with me after my surgery. It was really awesome of her, but she had to wash me. You know it's no big deal when you're 1 year old, right? But then I was 27 and I realized, damn it, my mom is going to have to wash my vagina. You know what, that's not so okay. I admit I kind of struggled with that. Heh. You never think something like that is going to be a necessity as an adult, but then bam, something happens and you're completely robbed of all your dignity. So when she came up, I said "mom, I'm having a bit of trouble here, and I'm gonna show you this."

So now we still laugh about Gwen.

But yeah, I couldn't do anything. I was in so much pain, and I was just about completely immobile for a while there. I'd stare at my bottle of pain pills and think "I could make it stop, if I just swallowed all of these." But I decided if I had any kind of a chance to walk again, I was going to fight like hell for it.

But once you have lost your independence, and you start gaining it back, you never want to let go of it. Any little thing you can do for yourself starts to mean a hell of a lot. The day I was able to drive my car again, I couldn't even describe how amazing that felt... like I'd gained a whole world I though I'd lost. Or the first time I stood up. Okay I went down and had to be carried back to bed, but still I got upright for a moment. And then I stood up again, and dragged my gimpy self along a wall, heh. Fucking badass, being able to stand up.

So I went from that, to working with horses, to riding horses, to climbing hills again, and running, and fighting. I learned some **** I needed to learn, like sometime you have to man up (or woman up or whatever the hell) and ask for help, or accept help that's offered. I had to learn that by lying on the floor of the hospital because I couldn't sit in a chair any more, haha. Sometimes if you're a stubborn bonehead like me, you have to be taught something by not having any other option. I learned that sometimes patience is the only choice that will make things better.

Most of all, I learned that humans are very very good at limiting themselves. It's amazing how much we say "can't." I guess that's why anyone who does say it in the dojo gets 20 push-ups. I used to say, "I can't climb a hill, I can't lose weight, I can't run, I can't ever do this or that," but I let go of that, eventually, and decided "well, let's see how I do."

I learned that everybody fails, failure is inevitable, but you can either choose to lay in the mud, or you can choose to stand up, take the lesson the failure taught you, and leave your attachment to the failure behind. If you're riding a horse and you get caught up in the failure, you're gonna end up flying off the horse. If you're fighting and you make a mistake and dwell on it, you're gonna get your ass kicked because while you're thinking "oh damn it I should have seen that coming," the other guy's going to punch you in the face a few times before you start moving again. If you're lying in bed thinking "I shouldn't have done that stupid thing and now I'm injured and everything is ruined," you aren't going to get back out of that damned bed.

But punishing your body and ignoring what it's trying to tell you is a bad idea too. I'm still working on that one, because I still often see my body as my worst opponent.

I hate feeling like I'm slipping backwards. But I'm better off than I have been in the past, and if I'm patient even if I have to have surgery, I'll be able to get back into fighting with some work. And someday I'm gonna fight full contact knockdown in a tournament.

Yoga just isn't going to cut it for me. :p

Also I think maybe vicodin makes me share too much, hahaha. On the plus side though, VICODIN.

**doofaloofa** · Posted On: 6/09/2011 7:16pm

I feel your pain sister!
I got a misalligned lumbar vertibra last summer
It was'nt diagnosed for a week. I spent a week on the sofa alone (family away at time) worrying about sliped discs, prolapsed discs, paralysis etc, every movement agony. Ten minutes to get up for a piss, way to much crap TV.
I thought I would never be able to defend my family again and crazy **** like that.
and here I am, a year later, !00% ready to defend my family