Breaking the Laws of Physics

**proteinshakez** · Posted On: 6/07/2011 12:58am

i had some douchefag "jump" me at a local sheetz a few months back (think gas station with a ton of other **** in it lol). I went in there to get bread because my fiance asked me to pick some up on my way over her house. I went in, went to the bread area, and saw the price. Without thinking twice about it, i took out my wallet and decided to see how much money i had to make sure i had the cash to get it.

For w/e reason i happened to look to my left, and about half a second later, i see a fist come flying at my face. Everything (as the others said) seemed to slow down, i was able to get my head out of the way and take a few steps backwards with a "WTF BRO!??!" coming out of my mouth as loud as i could make it lol. He stepped in and threw another punch (thank god for idiots who don't know how to punch lol), i blocked it with my one hand, and immediately i drove my other fist as hard as i could into his face. Soon as he reeled back i stepped in and drove another one into his chest (i was aiming for the solar plexus, hit his chest instead, w/e the case it was good enough) and he almost instantly fell down and wasn't getting back up. Then and only then did "time resume", up to that point soon as i saw the fist everything felt like it went really slow, and that whole situation took probably 5 seconds, but it felt like 5 minutes.

I ran to the front, told the clerk what happened, and bolted the **** out of there lol.

**P Marsh** · Posted On: 6/07/2011 1:27am

Originally Posted by proteinshakez

i had some douchefag "jump" me at a local sheetz a few months back (think gas station with a ton of other **** in it lol). I went in there to get bread because my fiance asked me to pick some up on my way over her house. I went in, went to the bread area, and saw the price. Without thinking twice about it, i took out my wallet and decided to see how much money i had to make sure i had the cash to get it.

For w/e reason i happened to look to my left, and about half a second later, i see a fist come flying at my face. Everything (as the others said) seemed to slow down, i was able to get my head out of the way and take a few steps backwards with a "WTF BRO!??!" coming out of my mouth as loud as i could make it lol. He stepped in and threw another punch (thank god for idiots who don't know how to punch lol), i blocked it with my one hand, and immediately i drove my other fist as hard as i could into his face. Soon as he reeled back i stepped in and drove another one into his chest (i was aiming for the solar plexus, hit his chest instead, w/e the case it was good enough) and he almost instantly fell down and wasn't getting back up. Then and only then did "time resume", up to that point soon as i saw the fist everything felt like it went really slow, and that whole situation took probably 5 seconds, but it felt like 5 minutes.

I ran to the front, told the clerk what happened, and bolted the **** out of there lol.

Being the lowly boxing noob that I am, I would have suggested hitting to the liver; from what I know of it it hurts just as much if not more and is a bigger target.

**CheeksWWAC** · Posted On: 6/07/2011 1:41am

While not a martial arts story, I watched my cousin who is about 5'9" and 160lbs choke slam a 6' 250lbs hells angel when he saw the guy knock out one of our more petite and younger friends at a bar.Im sure it wasnt nearly as impressive as I remember it but the biker was seriously about as big and fat as Ive seen them come. On a side note when I was 23 I was blacked out drunk at a punk show in a bar in san diego called the zombie lounge(actually it was renamed the radio room at the time for all you san diego natives) and apparently walked in between two bikers who had shaved and tattooed heads, and slapped them simultaneously in the back of their skulls. I didnt remember it but my training buddy told me about it the next day and said they just shrugged their shoulders and looked confused that a 5'5" lightweight would do that and continued the conversation they were having. It doesnt defy physics, but it definitely defies logic.

**BKR** · Posted On: 6/07/2011 9:09am

Originally Posted by judoka_uk

Ja, sure.

I have the same policy, don't hang out in places where you are unlikely to be the toughest/ most lunatic person.

If you apply that rule and surround yourself with mates who are dan grade Judoka and pro Muay thai fighters and you're fairly safe in most un armed altercations.

My judo sensei/coach back in Texas was like that. I saw him just look at so many guys and make them back down it boggles the mind.

As far as the whole world slowing down thing, that's pretty well documented effect as noted previously.

I've had it happen to me many many times both as uke and tori, and in non-judo situations.

Ben

**proteinshakez** · Posted On: 6/07/2011 11:32am

Originally Posted by P Marsh

Being the lowly boxing noob that I am, I would have suggested hitting to the liver; from what I know of it it hurts just as much if not more and is a bigger target.

well it wasn't really a situation where i had time to think about it. Plus at the time the ONLY training i had was pure karate, so a liver shot wasn't the first target that came to mind for me heh.

**GIburner** · Posted On: 6/07/2011 11:43am

I took a big ol **** the other day. looked back before I flushed and concluded that there was no way that big turd came outta of me.

it was so dense that it splashed up on me. It was like time had slowed down in the few seconds it took from my **** dropping into the bowl to the splash. I was able to move out of the way of the tidal wave before it splashed all over my ass.

**The Juggernoob** · Posted On: 6/07/2011 11:50am

Originally Posted by GIburner

I took a big ol **** the other day. looked back before I flushed and concluded that there was no way that big turd came outta of me.

it was so dense that it splashed up on me. It was like time had slowed down in the few seconds it took from my **** dropping into the bowl to the splash. I was able to move out of the way of the tidal wave before it splashed all over my ass.

Not as epic as the phantom turd. When you look back there's nothing there, and the paper comes back clean.