My Half Hour with the Booj on Base!

**kelvis** · Posted On: 5/10/2011 3:15pm

On another thread, I stated that the military base I work at was pretty lame when it came to offering decent martial arts classes. They have Systema, Taekwondo, and now ladies and gentlemen, they offer Ninpo Taijutsu! Yes, I can be a Ninja! For $10.00 a class, I can learn Ninjitsu. I have read all the articles, and saw a few videos, and have maybe even taken a jab at Moutainous, but my curiosity got the better of me. After work today, I went over to see what a real Ninja looks like, and maybe if I'm lucky, he'll let me sit in on the class!

He has a bigger beer belly than I do. Strike one.
He was wearing Ninja shoes. Strike two. (I know, what was I to expect).
First day he taught the two new students how to roll around on the floor and then how you can avoid a horizontal cut to the midsection!
God it's so easy, why didn't I see it before? Highlander's friends could've learned a lot from this guy. His secret? Sit down. He says, "They way to avoid this cut, is not to roll! You must sit down." Everyone kind of looks at him funny. "Here, let me show you..." His Green belt (I'll call him Daniel-san), takes the wooden ninja katana and slowly makes the horizontal cut...miraculously the Ninja goes to a semi seated position and rolls out of the way! Wow, he was fluid! He then did it again in slow motion.
"You have to sit and roll out of the way." STOP! Didn't he just say to NOT roll? WTF? It was all I could do to not laugh hysterically at this bozo. I totally forgot about his invisible black belt partner who just stood there watching the students roll around the floor while she's chomping on her gum. What the hell kind of deadly Ninja stands around chomping gum? STRIKE THREE! YER OUT!
That being said, I got the hell out and didn't even stick around to see what other d3adly was coming my way.
There you have it. My half hour with the Booj!

**Sri Hanuman** · Posted On: 5/10/2011 3:27pm

See, if you stuck around and took one for the team, this thread could have been longer, and more descriptive.

You didn't even get to see the deadly creepy ninja female student feel-up technique. Srsly, not cool.

**Styygens** · Posted On: 5/10/2011 3:33pm

Somewhere in the afterlife, Hattori Hanzo weeps... again.

**omoplatypus** · Posted On: 5/10/2011 4:34pm

but you still don't know the defense against a vertical lunge punch!!!!

**AMF** · Posted On: 5/10/2011 4:44pm

you MUST go back and initiate an offer for a friendly match, video it and post it here for the LULZ.

Go. Now.

Why are you still reading this?

**BrassMan** · Posted On: 5/10/2011 4:48pm

Originally Posted by STB'A

but you still don't know the defense against a vertical lunge punch!!!!

Surely he did it, right after Strike Three?

**Odacon** · Posted On: 5/10/2011 6:11pm

Dress as a pirate and go **** some ninja geeks up.

**Disastorm** · Posted On: 5/10/2011 7:06pm

Im dissapointed with the quality of most of the Bujinkan from what I've seen on the net. I used to train BBT for about half a year in the past and, while granted there was no live sparring which obviously makes some of the techniques questionable (jjj style techniques), there was nothing as rediculous in my class as what I've seen on the internet (no fat out of shape people, no people doing crazy ninja-like techniques like jumping around dodging bullets or sword attacks and whatnot, no LARPERs, etc). I guess I was one of the few lucky ones.

***battlefields*** · Posted On: 5/10/2011 7:32pm

BULLSHIT Disastorm. You are full of bullshit. EVERY single motherfucking Boojdouche comes on here and says the same fucking bullshit in an attempt to justify why they were suckered for so long.

Posting style courtesy of nicotine withdrawals and busted thumb.