Why westerners weren't the only ones who brought BS to Kung Fu

**jgarland** · Posted On: 4/29/2011 11:07pm

Disclaimer: This thread is not to insult those who practice Kung Fu (who I respect), but rather, to laugh mercilessly at the many hoards of untrained people who live under the impression that they practice Kung Fu.

For any of you who have seen 'The Forbidden Kingdom' and many other Kung Fu films, it is easy to blame western society for all the crap that the average person associates with the Chinese martial arts. I mean, seriously, who the hell puts Jackie Chan and Jet Li in the same martial arts film together, and then makes them supporting characters to some unknown white guy whose face didn't even make it onto some of the film's posters?

The same goes with 'The Karate Kid', where for some reason the directors seemed to think "Should we have a film about a dedicated and skilled asian student learning and excelling at an asian martial art? Nah, this film would be so much better with a western kid who learns to fight by polishing cars". In the new, Chinese orientated remake of course, he learns by picking up his clothes. Strangely enough, my little brother now cleans his room under my mother's threat that if he doesn't, "You're never gonna be a Kung Fu master": see the kind of crap people have come to link to Kung Fu? My little brother's heart is going to break when he finds out that the mop my mum gave him doesn't help with his bo staff practice :'(

And of course, we have the fact that the remake of 'Karate Kid' was actually about Kung Fu and that I have seen Karate schools with giant movie posters of Jaden Smith offering to make you "the next Karate kid" (What do you mean not qualified to teach Kung Fu? My 15th degree blackbelt means I can call myself Sifu if I want to, bitch).

But now, I can finally say, that despite all of our hard work, we as westerners have not succeeded in single handedly ruining much of what was good in the Chinese martial arts. Yes, the ancient Chinese masters themselves were actually partly responsible for the BS that has led unsuspecting female Yellow Bamboo practitioners to allow themselves to be punched in the head whilst under the impression that their yelling would be enough to force an assailant to his knees ( http://www.bullshido.net/forums/vbtu...ubeid=63#watch ).

What am I offering you?: no, not the irrefutable and undenyable truth, but rather some highly biased and not necessarily representative information on how the Shaolin monks set in motion much of the BS that was to infect the martial arts world in the future.

In the next installment: Why my highly biased and single-sourced information is better than yours, A.K.A. The ancient Chinese power of shrinking your balls inside your body at the sign of danger (No, sadly, I am not joking here).

Until next time, From the devoted author with the pacifiers above his posts that ensure that you will not take him seriously (or track him down in order to deliver a well-deserved Kung Fu ass-kicking)

**jspeedy** · Posted On: 4/29/2011 11:33pm

What the hell is a Bo staff?

Answer: A) Donatello used one
B) Dosen't exist
C) A contrived buzz word martial arts movie enthusiasts use to sound legit in front of their fellow virgin and less informed friends.

...you suck!... I thought this was going to be a real post, not just some guy bitching about how movies are *surprise* not real.

**Just Guess** · Posted On: 4/29/2011 11:52pm

Is it okay that I'm actually glad that Hollywood fight scenes don't look anything like this any more?

I love Judo, but that was not visually interesting and I doubt your average movie goer would find it very exciting.

**jgarland** · Posted On: 4/30/2011 12:09am

I entirely agree with both of you, I was going to cut straight to the chase about the ancient Chinese monk Wu Toy San Ling Qung's writings that described how one might train to kill others without touching them, or how you can shatter boulders with your hand, amongst other mystic rumours. But alas, the simple thought of some of 'Forbidden Kingdom', led me on a rant about western society's contribution to the crap that has become wrapped up with many of the Chinese martial arts. I should instead, have straight away described the Chinese influences on the way so many have practiced certain pointless tasks in the hopes of gaining mystical fighting abilities. Sorry that my post didn't offer anything useful.

**Johnny Y.** · Posted On: 4/30/2011 12:44am

Originally Posted by Just Guess

Is it okay that I'm actually glad that Hollywood fight scenes don't look anything like this any more?

I love Judo, but that was not visually interesting and I doubt your average movie goer would find it very exciting.

The boring-ness isn't the fault of the art, but how it's filmed. Cinematography has come a long way since 1945. The end fight in GoldenEye could be made boring with less interesting fight choreography, camera angles, musical score, poorer acting . . .

A big thing that's missing from that old fight is the brutality that two people who're genuinely trying to kill one another would have. The fighting doesn't look real. Fake punches look fake.

**100xobm** · Posted On: 4/30/2011 1:09am

Originally Posted by Just Guess

Is it okay that I'm actually glad that Hollywood fight scenes don't look anything like this any more?

I love Judo, but that was not visually interesting and I doubt your average movie goer would find it very exciting.

I love that fight. Shows real skill and technique. Like this one:

I prefer guns in my games, swords and fists in my movies.

**Just Guess** · Posted On: 4/30/2011 1:49am

Originally Posted by 100xobm

I love that fight. Shows real skill and technique. Like this one:

I prefer guns in my games, swords and fists in my movies.

I always loved this scene. Manly tears.

**Permalost** · Posted On: 4/30/2011 2:01am

Originally Posted by Just Guess

Is it okay that I'm actually glad that Hollywood fight scenes don't look anything like this any more?

I love Judo, but that was not visually interesting and I doubt your average movie goer would find it very exciting.

I liked when fight scenes were manly as ****. When pro wrestlers were used as choreographers and it was haymakers, breaking your opponent through shoddy furniture, and judo. Maybe an upkick if knocked to the ground, and a football tackle could be defeated with a Polish Hammer to the back. Those were the days.

**100xobm** · Posted On: 4/30/2011 2:34am

Originally Posted by Permalost

I liked when fight scenes were manly as ****. When pro wrestlers were used as choreographers and it was haymakers, breaking your opponent through shoddy furniture, and judo. Maybe an upkick if knocked to the ground, and a football tackle could be defeated with a Polish Hammer to the back. Those were the days.

I hear you my friend. This is the zenith:

**It is Fake** · Posted On: 4/30/2011 4:18am

Originally Posted by jgarland

I entirely agree with both of you, I was going to cut straight to the chase about the ancient Chinese monk Wu Toy San Ling Qung's writings that described how one might train to kill others without touching them, or how you can shatter boulders with your hand, amongst other mystic rumours. But alas, the simple thought of some of 'Forbidden Kingdom', led me on a rant about western society's contribution to the crap that has become wrapped up with many of the Chinese martial arts. I should instead, have straight away described the Chinese influences on the way so many have practiced certain pointless tasks in the hopes of gaining mystical fighting abilities. Sorry that my post didn't offer anything useful.

Uhmm no. The crap has been built up for years obviously before you were born. Especially, if you think Forbidden Kingdom or the new "Karate Kid" had anything to do with the crap.