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  1. bobyclumsyninja is offline
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    :)

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    Posted On:
    4/25/2011 1:04am

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     Style: Ex-Tiger KF, ex-SanDa

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    Universal, a billion bucks, and meth

    This happened a while back...almost a year. I was working night shift at a coffee shop, and a guy wearing a white tank top, red shorts, belt, shoes, socks and carrying a little grey suitcase, that appeared to have been clumsily spraypainted with gold paint, walks in. He also had a big belt buckle, but I forget what it was about. He looks like a cartoon, but who doesn't at 5am?

    He offers me a million dollar record deal, and says Universal signed him for a billion. After some time talking to me about it, I attempt to transition into something less-obviously-crazy I say something like, "wow, I'm tired, wish I could rest, but I gotta work".

    To which he responds "I'm up because I was doing meth all day yesterday".

    I didn't respond, but what the hell are you gonna say to that?
  2. BackFistMonkey is offline
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    Posted On:
    4/25/2011 1:12am

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     Style: Recovery-Fu

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by bobyclumsyninja View Post
    This happened a while back...almost a year. I was working night shift at a coffee shop, and a guy wearing a white tank top, red shorts, belt, shoes, socks and carrying a little grey suitcase, that appeared to have been clumsily spraypainted with gold paint, walks in. He also had a big belt buckle, but I forget what it was about. He looks like a cartoon, but who doesn't at 5am?

    He offers me a million dollar record deal, and says Universal signed him for a billion. After some time talking to me about it, I attempt to transition into something less-obviously-crazy I say something like, "wow, I'm tired, wish I could rest, but I gotta work".

    To which he responds "I'm up because I was doing meth all day yesterday".

    I didn't respond, but what the hell are you gonna say to that?
    LOL then say
    "Good Show old chap, why not pass along yar card to meh and I will get you a coffee with wheels on it from over yonder"
    Point away from direction you are going get his togo coffee from.
    Get his coffee while he looks the other way.

    Hussle him out the door and if he remembers to give you his card in the confusion ...then awesome ... call him the next day for more lulz.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bodhi108 View Post
    Nuke a unborn gay whale for Christ.
    I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.
    BILL HICKS,
    1961-1994
  3. bobyclumsyninja is offline
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    :)

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    Posted On:
    4/25/2011 1:13am

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     Style: Ex-Tiger KF, ex-SanDa

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I should add. This shop was inside a 24 hour convenience store. He went to the keno table and sat down, in between rants.
  4. BackFistMonkey is offline
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    Posted On:
    4/25/2011 1:22am

    supporting member
     Style: Recovery-Fu

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    errrrrrrrrr ahhhh ... crazy truckstop people ...

    Good luck with that, buddy. I know that crowd. May I suggest you just not talk to people except to scream at them to wipe their fucking feet. My third shift experiences have taught me that, that is usually just the best approach.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bodhi108 View Post
    Nuke a unborn gay whale for Christ.
    I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.
    BILL HICKS,
    1961-1994
  5. donoraen is offline

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    Oct 2010
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    488

    Posted On:
    4/25/2011 2:48am


     Style: Limalama

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    So did you sign with him?
  6. bobyclumsyninja is offline
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    :)

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    Posted On:
    4/25/2011 11:09am

    supporting member
     Style: Ex-Tiger KF, ex-SanDa

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I would have, but the secret handshake (high five, followed by freezing one's facial muscles with meth abuse), was too involved.
  7. Permalost is online now
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    pro nonsense self defense

    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    San Diego
    Posts
    12,557

    Posted On:
    4/25/2011 11:14am

    supporting member
     Style: FMA, dumbek, Indian clubs

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Send him to go paint an entire house in the middle of the night. Alternatively, give him a pair of scissors and an unkempt lawn.

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