MDMA messing up young minds.

[battlefields]

Just a rant on a delusional. Disregard if necessary.

Okay, the other day I was hanging out at my mates shop where he sells Tapout, Affliction and UFC branded shirts/hats when this tiny dude walks up with a broad UK accent and asks for an Affliction shirt, size medium even though the guy could have easily fitted an extra small with room to move. I notice the butt end of sai sticking out of his bag.

Upon handing over the money for the shirt, he states casually, "I'll wear it at my next fight". Intrigued, I pressed for more details, which were promptly described as him having "a full sponsorship deal for MMA when I turn 18." Um, okay. Apparently he was over here for a scholarship opportunity at one of our universities. But he was also a lightweight (dude is fucking small for a lightweight) and when he goes back to the UK he is fighting in an organisation, "which one?" I asked, conveniently he brushed over the question.

My ever vigilant mate decided to egg him on, possibly because he saw my eyes rolling in my head and a bored "you are a full of **** ****" look on my face. He asks him where he was from and the kid says Hull, UK. Without missing a fucking beat the kid lifts his arm to show an inch long scar on his arm and says, "this is what you get where I come from". I was tempted to whip off my bandanna and show him my head scars (extensive) and say, "this is what I got where I came from". But I let the little boy have his day in the sun.

He made a big song and dance about trying to rearrange his bag's content to fit the shirt, enough to prompt my mate to ask if they were sai he was carrying. Of course they were, and of course this was the time for him to show how bad arse he is by pulling out all the knife blades he had purchased earlier in the day from the markets. All ornamental, none practical. But he truly believed they were awesome. We pointed out that the double ended knife was likely to injure his hand quicker than damage an opponent, to which he gave a detailed description of how he would use it as a throwing knife. Which was even stupider than using it as a hand held weapon considering the outer edges of the blade were blunt. On pointing this out he said he was going to sharpen the outer edge, which would result in more lacerations than a drunk Freddy Krueger.

We returned to the subject of MMA and why he was carrying around weapons that he would not be able to take on a plane home. According to him he did MDMA before MMA, which apparently is an art filled with using weapons of all types.

I suggested that I think he did a little too much MDMA...












If you don't get the joke, MDMA is the chemical name for Ecstasy.

[100xobm]

I hear drugs are a lot cheaper in the UK compared to our neck of the woods.

[battlefields]

The equivalent of $5 a pop over there I am reliably informed. I used to buy them in ultra bulk at that price. They pick them up one at a time at that price.

[bobyclumsyninja]

I was gonna say. MDMA? Didn't Joe Rogan rant about it?

Always nice to run into a heavily armed Napoleonic...Limey Affliction-noob(?) with delusions of grandeur, and an upbringing on the mean str33ts of Hull.

I mean, look at their football player.

look at their fans!!


You were lucky to get out of there, with your ballsaks in place.

[battlefields]

I really wish I had shown some of my scars now. Reminds me of the time I was at a bar and these dudes were talking about their scars.

The first guy shows this purple fading scar on his thigh the size of my hand and he goes, "man, I have this from a shark attack, it tore the main artery in my thigh and I nearly died", to which I scoffed. They looked at me menacingly.

The second guy says, "that's nothing," he turns around and lifts up his shirt to reveal two scars in an X across his back, "bear attack, took two swipes as a warning while I was running away, lucky I was nowhere near the cubs or I would've been dead." I laughed out loud.

The third guy drops trou and lifts his shirt to reveal a scar that travelled from his ankle to under his armpit, the rest of them were amazed. The guy said, "combine harvester, managed to roll away in the nick of time, docs reckon if I hadn't rolled away I would've been as dead as mincemeat." I burst out laughing.

They all looked at me and angrily proclaimed, "**** you buddy, show us your scars!"

So I pulled down my shirt to reveal this angry looking five inch thick scar that goes from my chin to the base of my dick. They said, "jesus man, how'd you get that?"

"Post mortem."

[Tranquil Suit]

...Wait, you mean you were lying in a morgue and woke up while they were cutting you open?

[tao.jonez]

Yes Tranq, that's the joke.

[Son of Thunder]

They all looked at me and angrily proclaimed, "**** you buddy, show us your scars!"

"Mary Ellen Moffat. She broke my heart."

[CrackFox]

That is the joke.

[Permalost]

I thought this was about that Monsanto additive in the milk. Nevermind.