Losing my aggression

**Syphilis** · Posted On: 4/18/2011 4:49am

I'm never aggressive in jiujitsu.

But sometimes aggression has a place. It is a tool, like strength or weight, that you need to incorporate with your techniques I think. Learn how to harness your strength as a technique; learn how to harness your weight as a technique; learn how to harness your attitude as a technique.

***WhiteShark*** · Posted On: 4/18/2011 8:08am

I'm super aggressive in competition and super lazy in practice. I also compete without much emotion. The way I compartmentalize this is to think at tournament that my competitors are there to win and therefore I have to be there to win. The strategic way I think about it is to push and push to force them into a mistake. Like you I believe the difference in Jiu Jitsu is who makes the mistake. I also think that forcing your opponent to make the first mistake is the best way to focus your aggression.

Instead of anger or speed or strength individually just focus on using your best attributes to push the match in a direction that causes your opponent to make mistakes. You can do this a few ways depending on your style. I tend to either try and overload my opponents mind by throwing faster and faster combinations sometime even without a ton of commitment just to make them think defense. Or I try to force an opening technique that I'm really good at like an armdrag fully expecting their counters but that way you still know what they are going to do because there are a limited number of counters to an armdrag.

You've got to find the trick in your game that lets you put your opponent on the defensive and allows you to be aggressive while staying methodical.

**gregaquaman** · Posted On: 4/18/2011 9:13am

Set yourself a goal that matters if you loose.
Or go do boxing. A good boxing gym has some of the hardest most committed fighters in martial arts

**Navita** · Posted On: 4/19/2011 1:22pm

Originally Posted by BKR

In Judo competition, especially among serious competitors, the women are known as the most aggressive fighters.

The coach that berated you is an idiot. There are others ways to help people understand their emotions. Training in martial arts/combat sports is a direct way to experience aggression/anger/fear/adrenaline overload in a controlled environment with rules in place that everyone agrees to ahead of time with (hopefully) like minded people.

Please keep in mind what I wrote: aggession does not necessarily equal being angry/overemotional/out of control/too rough/trying to hurt people/training partners/opponents in matches. You've experienced no "aggressive" feelings, and have explored the upper ends to some extent it sounds like. That's a good way to find the middle.

My judo sensei (although he refused to be called sensei), used to tell me not to get angry, get determined.

Keep training!

Ben

I admit to hitting the wrong emotions while training. I also tried very hard to get them under control and go back to training, competing, without that emotion just aggression there. That was actually one of my hardest lessons in training. It's just getting told that when I start to move faster, tighter, that I need to calm down because I'm over reacting. My new coach sees the exact opposite happening. He is constantly telling me to kill/ run through/ beat up/ so and so. And after he tells me I've got to work on becoming aggressive again... Apparently in the last week I have made improvements..

Originally Posted by jnp

Aggression during sparring is relative to your experience as well as your training partner's. As a purple belt, you are entirely capable of aggressively pursuing position as well as submissions without being a flailing mat spaz. Set a goal from any given position and pursue it with intent. On the other hand, no one is saying you have to crush the white belts when you roll with them. Different training partners dictate different levels of intensity.

As a higher rank in the BJJ world, sometimes you have training partners that are junior and need coaching, other times you train with your equals or those above you. You may also have training partners who have injuries. Therefore, it is advantageous to be able to adjust the intensity of any individual randori session depending on your training partner's skill level. The trick is training with the right kind of partner depending on your needs.

If it's time to train for a tournament, spend less time mentoring those junior to you and more time with your betters. Otherwise, invest in your gym and spend some time helping out the whites and blues, but don't neglect your own training in the process.

One last thing, I agree with BKR when he stated that the coach who berated you for being aggressive is an idiot. Women should only be discouraged from being ferocious when they overextend themselves while doing so.

I love helping and mentoring the younger belts. At the old school I taught 9 classes of kids and junior adults, a week. The other females were lower ranked and I loved training and answering any questions I could. I just always want to help. I'm still like that.. The problem became as Pan Ams got closer and I'd go to train with higher belts, harder people he'd yell and make me sit on the wall unless I was helping beginners. I finally left the school 3 weeks before Pan Ams. It was the hardest thing I have done... I had students, and friends. The next day I was just gone. And I couldn't explain to them why. He claimed a bunch of stuff, and that he kicked me out. Said good riddance, etc. Threatened to message my original coach, who was his coach, and any school I went to, to make sure I could never train in the area again. Like I said rough. Later I found out that he's not liked in the area, and actually some people have a bullshido investigation thread about him. His belt is legitimate, his business practices, whatever.

I dont want to be seen as an emotional gir but an aggressive athlete... It's a weird out of body experience to see what I was and the beat puppy I feel like I am now.

**BKR** · Posted On: 4/19/2011 3:25pm

Originally Posted by Navita

I admit to hitting the wrong emotions while training. I also tried very hard to get them under control and go back to training, competing, without that emotion just aggression there. That was actually one of my hardest lessons in training. It's just getting told that when I start to move faster, tighter, that I need to calm down because I'm over reacting. My new coach sees the exact opposite happening. He is constantly telling me to kill/ run through/ beat up/ so and so. And after he tells me I've got to work on becoming aggressive again... Apparently in the last week I have made improvements..

I love helping and mentoring the younger belts. At the old school I taught 9 classes of kids and junior adults, a week. The other females were lower ranked and I loved training and answering any questions I could. I just always want to help. I'm still like that.. The problem became as Pan Ams got closer and I'd go to train with higher belts, harder people he'd yell and make me sit on the wall unless I was helping beginners. I finally left the school 3 weeks before Pan Ams. It was the hardest thing I have done... I had students, and friends. The next day I was just gone. And I couldn't explain to them why. He claimed a bunch of stuff, and that he kicked me out. Said good riddance, etc. Threatened to message my original coach, who was his coach, and any school I went to, to make sure I could never train in the area again. Like I said rough. Later I found out that he's not liked in the area, and actually some people have a bullshido investigation thread about him. His belt is legitimate, his business practices, whatever.

I dont want to be seen as an emotional gir but an aggressive athlete... It's a weird out of body experience to see what I was and the beat puppy I feel like I am now.

You got used to make money for him,and when you wanted to train for your self,he got pissed. Good thing you left.

What kinds of emotions are you talking about? Fear? Anger?

Ben

**Navita** · Posted On: 4/19/2011 3:56pm

Originally Posted by BKR

You got used to make money for him,and when you wanted to train for your self,he got pissed. Good thing you left.

What kinds of emotions are you talking about? Fear? Anger?

Ben

Fear only happened a few times... When a large white belt picked me up above his head. Anger and frustration mostly. Anger That couldn't do what I wanted to against people bigger than me. Anger that people the same rank as me could toss me. Anger that he coach could crossface me leave bruises and give me a concussion but if I reacted or accidentally bumped his nose during a choke I'd be getting yelled at for a poor attitude or trying to break his nose. In the end at that gym, a lot of anger and resentment. I got frustrated a lot because he wasn't teaching either age appropriate or rank appropriate techniques. He wasn't showing curriculum or solid techniques. When I left I called my coach in Indiana and told him everything, I guess he yelled at the other coach, and the school had to change.. Which is definitely good. My original instructor asked me to go back and when I said no, he supported the decision and publicly wrote about it to make sure everyone understood I was still his student no matter what and he was happy I found a place.

**BKR** · Posted On: 4/20/2011 9:04am

Originally Posted by Navita

Fear only happened a few times... When a large white belt picked me up above his head. Anger and frustration mostly. Anger That couldn't do what I wanted to against people bigger than me. Anger that people the same rank as me could toss me. Anger that he coach could crossface me leave bruises and give me a concussion but if I reacted or accidentally bumped his nose during a choke I'd be getting yelled at for a poor attitude or trying to break his nose. In the end at that gym, a lot of anger and resentment. I got frustrated a lot because he wasn't teaching either age appropriate or rank appropriate techniques. He wasn't showing curriculum or solid techniques. When I left I called my coach in Indiana and told him everything, I guess he yelled at the other coach, and the school had to change.. Which is definitely good. My original instructor asked me to go back and when I said no, he supported the decision and publicly wrote about it to make sure everyone understood I was still his student no matter what and he was happy I found a place.

It sounds to me like a lot of your "emotions" were due to being in a bad training situation rather than being generated by training itsself.

In a good dojo or gym I don't think you will have any problems with being appropriately aggressive.

On a different issue, I'd avoid a gym where someone sees you purple belt and assigns you a bunch of teaching duties, unless you get paid or some sort of break on dues/fees. Even then, if you want to develop, you need to focus on your training. I got into teaching early in my judo career (as a ikkyu, which is almost a black belt, than as a shodan, or first degree black belt), and, although in some ways it helped develop my Judo, in more ways it stunted by development.

Ben

**judoka_uk** · Posted On: 4/20/2011 9:12am

Originally Posted by BKR

On a different issue, I'd avoid a gym where someone sees you purple belt and assigns you a bunch of teaching duties, unless you get paid or some sort of break on dues/fees.

Definitely, otherwise you're just being taken advantage of.

**DCS** · Posted On: 4/20/2011 10:56am

I'm in a hurry (starting holidays here) and lack time to ellaborate but I think, regarding "aggression" and its different types (affective, predatory and pseudo predatory aggression), the following article is worth reading.

From the hoplological perspective, we clearly distinguish two primary types of combative systems, (fighting arts). As raised several times over the years in HOPLOS, and most recently in Donn Draeger’s article, “Understanding East Asian Combative Culture,” martial and civil fighting are two areas of combative behavior that have evolved for different applications under stimulus from different combative contexts. More importantly, however, I intend to show that their distinctions are based in biological adaptations though certainly influenced by cultural mechanisms.

Click the link to continue reading

http://www.hoplology.com/articles_detail.asp?id=14

**Navita** · Posted On: 4/20/2011 11:19am

At first it was I didn't have to pay to train there. Then it was I would pay to train and he would pay me to teach, but I was going to be paying more to train there than he was going to pay me to teach the classes. I also ended up teaching more classes a week than him... Which made it stressful. I was only officially teaching kids classes, but whenever the MMA coach wasn't there, I was teaching mma, and if the coach wasn't there to teach normal classes, that duty was again put on me, I was the highest rank after the head instructor... Kind of a messed up situation. I would love to own my own school in the future, but that won't be for a few years. I don't know enough to be the head instructor, and getting thrown into that sucks.