Quitting and moving on

**War Wizard** · Posted On: 4/15/2011 8:42pm

Hmm. My leaving my old "kung fu" school (a term I use very loosely given it's actual history) was actually pretty easy. I got really busy one month wasn't able to attend more than once and I just never went back (had my moment of clarity after being on here and doing a few judo classes at the time as well).

I did get the stink eye and a cold shoulder from former associates from there when I ran into them out in town and a teacher from one of the other branches actually PM'd me to "have a talk", but after I invited a public discussion on here instead, no more contact. So, eh, whatever, I like what I've done since a whole helluva lot better.

**Ciderbone** · Posted On: 4/15/2011 9:44pm

Originally Posted by W. Rabbit

In boxing clubs, people get in the ring and throw fists, in judo they throw each other, in football, they throw the pigskin around while trying to knock people senseless. Fun way to meet people, beat each other up, then bullshit after (sometimes, delicious cake is served!)

What the ****, sometimes delicious cake is served at some clubs? I'm totally quittings my gym... the cake they make me eat there is nasty.

**alex** · Posted On: 4/16/2011 5:49am

man, if i left my gym to train at a rival gym my coach would come and **** me up. he knows where i live too :/

**Sisyphus** · Posted On: 4/16/2011 7:25am

Originally Posted by Ciderbone

What the ****, sometimes delicious cake is served at some clubs? I'm totally quittings my gym... the cake they make me eat there is nasty.

Well let's not forget that gym franchise, Planet Fitness, with their tootsie rolls, and a monthly free Pizza Night and Bagel Mornings.

**Sisyphus** · Posted On: 4/16/2011 7:42am

I once watched an instructional video on job searching and the guy had a section regarding the proper way to leave a job – and he had used the word “courage” to leave (much to my chagrin). That once you give notice to your current employer - you must then leave and not accept any counteroffer!

His take - supposedly back up by “studies” - was anyone who does gives notice - but stays - almost certainly leaves that employer anyway within a year. Because the bone that is thrown (counteroffer) is offset by the change within the relationship dynamics - e.g., not being “loyal” employee and what if I… thoughts etc.

However some companies, and dojos, have no problem accepting “boomerang employees” or students – so go figure.

**JudOWNED** · Posted On: 4/16/2011 9:00am

Ultimately, and barring any contractual obligation, how you leave a school/gym you are paying to attend is completely up to you. If you have friends there and like the instrcutor and want to give them a heads up that for whatever reason you won't be training there anymore, that's great. If you hate your school, dislike your instructor and think they treat you horribly, I see absolutely nothing wrong with just never showing up again. This isn't medieval china, and an etiquette for quitting is entirely based on what type of relationships you have there and how you feel you should deal with those relationships.

But, especially with these McDojo-cult stories, I have never understood why people are so conflicted about "how to quit." Seems pretty simple to me. Just stop going.

**W. Rabbit** · Posted On: 4/16/2011 10:28am

Originally Posted by Ciderbone

What the ****, sometimes delicious cake is served at some clubs? I'm totally quittings my gym... the cake they make me eat there is nasty.

There are three requirements for cake:

1 - The event must be a gong sau

2 - Kintaron must be fighting.

3 - Kintaron must bake and bring the cake.

**hapkido_keith** · Posted On: 4/16/2011 10:44am

When I quit Hapkido I just stopped showing up. I didn't hang out with any of the people there, so it was easy.

**Colin** · Posted On: 4/16/2011 11:05am

Originally Posted by W. Rabbit

There are three requirements for cake:

1 - The event must be a gong sau

2 - Kintaron must be fighting.

3 - Kintaron must bake and bring the cake.

[cc] - counterconsideration

CC: You are an Aikojoker at an Aikido philosophical retreat/training camp:

- 2002

**War Wizard** · Posted On: 4/16/2011 7:19pm

Originally Posted by JudOWNED

Ultimately, and barring any contractual obligation, how you leave a school/gym you are paying to attend is completely up to you. If you have friends there and like the instrcutor and want to give them a heads up that for whatever reason you won't be training there anymore, that's great. If you hate your school, dislike your instructor and think they treat you horribly, I see absolutely nothing wrong with just never showing up again. This isn't medieval china, and an etiquette for quitting is entirely based on what type of relationships you have there and how you feel you should deal with those relationships.

But, especially with these McDojo-cult stories, I have never understood why people are so conflicted about "how to quit." Seems pretty simple to me. Just stop going.

On the money. Aside from the little bit of E-posturing, quitting Shaolin Do was an easy decision, one I should have made many years before.

Edit: On a side note, I've actually received quite a few PMs from SD'ers with the same doubts I had and they ALL ended quitting shortly after our exchanges. Least my 7 years saved some other people time and money...