Door-to-Door karate salesman. a touching story.

**Sri Hanuman** · Posted On: 5/18/2011 4:27am

Originally Posted by proteinshakez

true story:

2 JW's came to my door (there used to be like 2 week time periods they'd be ALL over the place in my neighborhood, usually avoided them by just not answering the door, but one day i had enough of them showing up.

I answered the door in nothing but boxers and 1 sock (fortunately i hadn't shaved for several days so that helped too) and a chain holding a water bottle that i filled with something that looked like booze. I said "can i help you?" belched, and scratched my nuts while they stood there.

They gave their usual speal, and i said "sure, tell me all about it". After a while of them talking, and me continuing to scratch my nuts, i pretended that my "wife" was screaming something to me, and i shouted back into the house "GOD DAMN IT WOMAN!! I'm talking to those god damned jenova's witlesses about jesus, do it your god damned self!!" and went back to listening to them. They stopped, looked at each other, looked at me, backed off my door step, and said they'd come back at a better time. I said "alright then, don't let the door hitcha where the good lord splitcha", and slammed the door on them.

I then made toast and masturbated.

The end.

Better than what I do.
Nice.

***Tranquil Suit*** · Posted On: 5/18/2011 5:22am

What, you don't like toast?

**ermghoti** · Posted On: 5/18/2011 7:14am

Originally Posted by Danielsan2

the opening post here is absolutely full of rubbish. I know the senior instructor of GKR for all of tasmania and I asked him straight out if one of his door knockers was knocked out and he laughed hilariously and said "definitely not"

you muppet - nice lie tho

The fact that they sell karate door to door is far more embarrassing than one of their salesmen catching a beating.

**Permalost** · Posted On: 5/19/2011 2:13pm

Originally Posted by ermghoti

The fact that they sell karate door to door is far more embarrassing than one of their salesmen catching a beating.

I don't think we have this in the states, but if I see a door to door karate man walking around the neighborhood in a gi, I'm taking off my shoes and assuming a karate stance until we battle. Preferably, a ridiculous one. I'm thinking maybe like this:

**Ignorami** · Posted On: 5/19/2011 2:18pm

I had to look at that photo for a while to see why the stance was ridiculous. It's obvious now I've spotted it...

The goddamn fool is holding the yo yo in his left hand instead of his right. The idiothole!

**Permalost** · Posted On: 5/19/2011 2:56pm

Originally Posted by Ignorami

I had to look at that photo for a while to see why the stance was ridiculous. It's obvious now I've spotted it...

The goddamn fool is holding the yo yo in his left hand instead of his right. The idiothole!

No, it's because his hands and feet are too wide apart to vogue properly.

**Ignorami** · Posted On: 5/19/2011 3:58pm

Originally Posted by Permalost

No, it's because his hands and feet are too wide apart to vogue properly.

Look around, everywhere you turn is balls-ache
It's every punch that you throw
You try everything you can to escape
An RNC that you know

When larping fails and you long to be
Better than the Ninjer that you are today
I know a place where you can get away
It's called a dojo and here's what it's for, so

Come on, vogue
Do XMA moves to the music, hey, hey, hey
Come on, vogue
Let your aiki go with the flow, you know you can do it

All you need is your own determination
Use Dim Mak that's what it's for
Go outside, try out your finest pankration
Your fists will show them the floor

It makes no difference if they're black or white
If they're a boy or a girl
If your bicep's pumping, it will take their life
Kyokushin karateka, yes, that's what you are, you know it

Come on, vogue
Time your kiai tight to the music, "hey!, hey!, hey!"
Come on, vogue
Let your tai chi go with the flow, you know you can do it

Pain is where you find it
Not just where you bump and knee-grind it
Capoera's a bit music-hall
More breakdance than it is breakfall
Magical, punch in the balls
So take the chunner to the floor

Vogue

Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee
Sammo Hung and Jet Li
Tony Jaa, looking mean
On the cover of black belt magazine

Steven Seagal stuffing his face
Hiding after the Gotti case
Steven Chow, Van Damme too
Chuck Norris, we love you

Add a carnival attitude
with BJJ done in the nude
Don't just stand there, let's get to it
Into horse-stance, there's nothing to it

Vogue, vogue
Vogue, vogue