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  1. bobyclumsyninja is offline
    bobyclumsyninja's Avatar

    :)

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Bahstun
    Posts
    7,057

    Posted On:
    4/14/2011 12:36am

    supporting member
     Style: Ex-Tiger KF, ex-SanDa

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Styygens View Post
    I'm really disappointed.

    From the title, I was expecting something more like a Penthouse Letters type story that involved... you know, "touching."

    Could someone less lazy than I am make up such a story about a door-to-door karate salesman? Here, I'll get you started:

    "Dear Penthouse, I never thought this could happen to me, but one day while out selling karate lessons door-to-door..."
    I'm on it
  2. JKDChick is offline
    JKDChick's Avatar

    Senior Administrator

    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    8,131

    Posted On:
    4/14/2011 3:34am

    staff
     Style: JKD, BJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    My brother once opened the door to the JW's and shrieked: "Do you mind! I'm robbing this place!" and slammed the door.

    They called the cops. I sat in the living room unable to help him prove he lived there because i was choking to death laughing.
    Monkey Ninjas! Attack!
  3. syberia is offline
    syberia's Avatar

    Here to kick your ass.

    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    3,778

    Posted On:
    4/14/2011 6:06am

    supporting member
     Style: BJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by JKDChick View Post
    My brother once opened the door to the JW's and shrieked: "Do you mind! I'm robbing this place!" and slammed the door.

    They called the cops. I sat in the living room unable to help him prove he lived there because i was choking to death laughing.
    Lol. Fucking Genius.


    Chaos? Panic?... Disorder??
    .........................​My work here is done.

  4. Sri Hanuman is offline
    Sri Hanuman's Avatar

    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Chicago, IL
    Posts
    6,489

    Posted On:
    4/14/2011 7:34am

    Join us... or die
     Style: Cheng Man Ching Taijiquan

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Smoke View Post
    I'm just curious, with this response do you guys usually carry firearms with you when someone knocks on your door, or do you quickly return back with one?
    Depends on who's at the door.

    If it's a religious call, I actually invite them in, make tea, have a long civil conversation that goes in circles for a minimum of 4 hrs, and then they leave.

    If someone were to say something like "are you afraid for your life", I would definitely take it as a threat. In all seriousness, I'd probably slam the door, and get the gun just to be on the safe side. That's why doors come with chains. Gotta let the right one in.
    =================
    Kama Sutra blue belt.

    Quote Originally Posted by Emevas View Post
    I used to **** guys like you in prison.
    Quote Originally Posted by Rock Ape View Post
    Dude I kill people for a fucking living.

    Dipshit
  5. Sri Hanuman is offline
    Sri Hanuman's Avatar

    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Chicago, IL
    Posts
    6,489

    Posted On:
    4/14/2011 7:38am

    Join us... or die
     Style: Cheng Man Ching Taijiquan

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Styygens View Post
    I'm really disappointed.

    From the title, I was expecting something more like a Penthouse Letters type story that involved... you know, "touching."

    Could someone less lazy than I am make up such a story about a door-to-door karate salesman? Here, I'll get you started:

    "Dear Penthouse, I never thought this could happen to me, but one day while out selling karate lessons door-to-door..."
    Here's your basic outline.

    1. Selling karate door to door
    2. Someone goes "naw, my BJJ keel your karate"
    3. Challenge accepted in basement, low lighting, Barry White in background
    4. Dear Penthouse...
    =================
    Kama Sutra blue belt.

    Quote Originally Posted by Emevas View Post
    I used to **** guys like you in prison.
    Quote Originally Posted by Rock Ape View Post
    Dude I kill people for a fucking living.

    Dipshit
  6. Permalost is offline
    Permalost's Avatar

    pro nonsense self defense

    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    San Diego
    Posts
    12,528

    Posted On:
    4/14/2011 10:50am

    supporting member
     Style: FMA, dumbek, Indian clubs

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I've decided that if I see a karate salesman at my door, I'll sneak around the back so I can surprise him with a flying side kick and a thunderous kiai.
  7. bobyclumsyninja is offline
    bobyclumsyninja's Avatar

    :)

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Bahstun
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    7,057

    Posted On:
    4/14/2011 11:40am

    supporting member
     Style: Ex-Tiger KF, ex-SanDa

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Honestly, if someone large came to my door and asked me if I'd ever been afraid for my life, I'd give them a wild-eyed down-up looking over, and probably get a bit frosty.I might point out to them, that were I in fear for my life, I'd have kicked their balls up into their bladder, and likely flung them off the porch by their earlobe, or a nostril, and that saying such things could make a temperamental person do bad things. Cavalier threats are a pet peeve of mine.

    When people make like they're going to steal my(our) tips, while we're playing, I inevitably make something loud out of it. No one's ever stepped to the worked-up, red-faced, veins-up, shaking-mad version of me, out there.

    The last guy who took some of our tips got chased, football tackled by an onlooker, and rolled up into a ball by moi. I let him go, when he didn't come up swinging, but he got himself arrested 2 days later, trying it with another player, in front of an undercover.

    What you did Colin, was magical. I'd never, myself, as I'm perhaps not as cunning, or ballsy.

    They may as well be going up to doors asking
    "Hi, have you ever been raped at gunpoint?"

    eediots.
  8. Sri Hanuman is offline
    Sri Hanuman's Avatar

    Senior Member

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    Chicago, IL
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    6,489

    Posted On:
    4/14/2011 11:52am

    Join us... or die
     Style: Cheng Man Ching Taijiquan

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by bobyclumsyninja View Post
    "Hi, have you ever been raped at gunpoint?"
    This may be the single greatest sales pitch for womens defense class.
    Are you copyrighting?
    =================
    Kama Sutra blue belt.

    Quote Originally Posted by Emevas View Post
    I used to **** guys like you in prison.
    Quote Originally Posted by Rock Ape View Post
    Dude I kill people for a fucking living.

    Dipshit
  9. Ignorami is offline
    Ignorami's Avatar

    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    1,538

    Posted On:
    4/14/2011 1:56pm


     Style: Aikido / FMA / Krotty

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    It's a pretty good sales pitch for toilet paper too :-s


    When life gives you lemons... BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!

    "what's the best thing about aikido then?"
    "To be defeated by your enemies, to be driven by them from the field of battle, and to hear the lamentations of your women." ermghoti
  10. tao.jonez is offline
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    Ninja Fruit

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    Feb 2009
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    2,055

    Posted On:
    4/14/2011 2:27pm


     Style: JKD, Jiu Jitsu

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Wait, if someone comes to my door (in the US) and asks if I've ever been afraid for my life, can I legally kick their ass on my front lawn? Implicit threat and all that...
    "Never trust a quote you read on the internet" - Abraham Lincoln



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