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  1. #21
    Woah. Alex Van Halen got huge. Join us... or die
    Gabetuno's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Rhode Island
    Posts
    3,295
    Style
    Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Gonna be tough cutting weight when your gym smells like Subway baked bread. Then again, sponsorship should be easy as ****.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sarcastro
    He screams like a little girl as the pain ripples through his arm, shoots up into his brain, and now your dick is hard.



  2. #22
    Permalost's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    San Diego
    Posts
    13,944
    Style
    street paddleboarding
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Snake Plissken View Post
    For your uniform, they will lead you into the men's apparel and have you choose from their fine selection of MMA Elite active wear.
    And instead of a mouthpiece, you could just take out your showin' teeth and put them in the pocket of your MMA Elite shorts.

  3. #23
    Larus marinus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    NW England
    Posts
    3,061
    Style
    Nothing - yet
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Gabetuno View Post
    Gonna be tough cutting weight when your gym smells like Subway baked bread. Then again, sponsorship should be easy as ****.
    I tried that 'Subway diet' that was meant to have worked so well for that guy.

    Three footlong chicken and bacon ranch/BMT/meatball subs a day and I actually *gained* weight. ****...

  4. #24

    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Cali
    Posts
    396
    Style
    bjj (blue) Judo (green)
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Like_A_Boss View Post
    Does that guy have a bunch of cocks tatooed to his arm?
    Yea, and they look ready for business.

  5. #25

    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    99
    Style
    BJJ/MT
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Wow, the whole "walmart jitsu" jokes are all coming true...

  6. #26

    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    108
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Now, would the sparring be blue-vest or no blue-vest?

    I can imagine the greeters having to direct people to that area of the store...

    "Just follow the sound of screams and failure, sir..."

    And I wonder, would you have to do the Wal-Mart cheer before you get on the mat?


    I kid because I love. I actually work at a Wallyworld. Good times.

  7. #27

    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Tulsa, Oklahoma
    Posts
    426
    Style
    Kendo, Krotty
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I was going to make a MMA Elite joke but Snake beat me to it.

    I confess, I actually considered grabbing a pair of their MMA Elite shorts off the bargain rack for the lulz, but then I felt the cold, murderous fury of Drew Fickett's vengeful ghost boring holes into the back of my neck with drills made of pure shame at the idea of anyone who has ever been trained by him wearing them. Also they felt like really greasy textured plastic or something.

    Also, it's probably not any worse than some generimma bullshit being run out of an ATA school, and all it'll end up doing is pumping out more deluded dipshits who can't fight. If we're really lucky they'll hold some no holds barred sparring sessions, complete with folding chairs, ladders, and easily broken tables.

  8. #28

    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    67
    Style
    Kyokushin, Judo
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Snake Plissken View Post
    For your uniform, they will lead you into the men's apparel and have you choose from their fine selection of MMA Elite active wear.
    You mean to tell me that stuff is supposed to give someone the appearance of a fighter?

  9. #29
    Snake Plissken's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    11,537
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Yes.
    Or that you have an affinity for chain-link fencing and fleur-de-lis

  10. #30

    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    82
    Style
    Judo
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    MMA Studio opens in Walmart

    http://www.mixedmartialarts.com/news...ahoma-WalMart/

    Why am I not surprised that Bill "Superfoot" Wallace is involved in this?

    Can you imagine the Walmart greeter? "Welcome to Walmart. Can I kick your ass?"

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