Old School Gong Sau
After months of eager anticipation Gong-SauMania is less than a week away! Our main event this time around will Kintanon "The Blue Belt Bomber" v.s. Matt "The Old School Stomper" Phillips. This is sure to be a slobberknocker unlike anything we've ever seen!
For those of you who haven't been watching to program, here's a brief history of what lead us to this epic Smackdown:
1) Cy Q. Faunce, once a good guy, had gone heel and proclaimed himself to be The Big Show of Bullshido. With the power of snooping and snarkiness, he walked tall around the ring ready to investigate anyone who got in his way of his plans.
2) Matt Phillips, rubbed Raw by Cy's display of douchiness, stormed out the back and in front of thousands of onlookers delivered a formal challenge:
3) Cy quickly responded:
Yep that's right, this is a formal Gong Sau challenge. I'm sick of you; I think you're full of ****, I think you're lying your about martial arts experience, and I aim to put that to the test in the ring. You're an internet nerd with no interest in the martial arts. What the **** are you even doing here? You do nothing but pick web fights, alienate people and in general try to wreck what was once a great site. Well now you're called out. My contract at work ends the last day of august... any time after that I will fly to you and fight. Pick the date and I will make every effort to accommodate you. Maybe we can have the match at your gym. Where was that again? Seriously... what's the name of your gym?
I don't like you and I don't like the way things are going. It's time to take it to the ring. You may be fat and old, but honey so am I.
4)Just like when Sirc has sex things seemed over before they really begin. Then, out of nowhere, Kintanon appeared and accepted the challenge!
5) Awkwardly and with much confusion (again, like Sirc having sex) the ritual of Gong Sau Began!
Ok, Matt, you want to fight someone so you can get some Gong Sau cred or something, you implied you would be willing to come to georgia to do it, so let's get this put together.
Some speculate that gophers invented the ritual of Gong Sau
For those of you who are unfamiliar with Gong Sau, after the initial challenge there is usually a bickering and arguing stage that lasts several months. Each participant flaunts their manliness, expresses their hatred for each other, then someone usually back out of the match for one reason or another.
"I can't fight, I have work that day."
"My wife says she will leave me if this goes down"
"My favorite hamster just died, I am too emotional to fight."
Will this match go through? Will Kintanon's Zhu Zhitzu defeat a larger opponent? Will Matt teach everyone not to mess with senior citizens? Will Mark Tripp make his return during the match, smash Kin and Matt with a folding chair, and claim victory for Judo? Keep your eyes on this thread to find out!
Gong Sau Thread
Also if you're in the Mid Atlantic area be sure to check out the mini throwdown and see how much you really suck. There will be cake and fighting, what more can you want!