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  1. ADM is offline
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    Senior Member

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    Nov 2007
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    Australia
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    Posted On:
    12/13/2010 3:16am


     Style: Kyokushin Karate / BJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Teach her how to have sex badly so that everyone stays clear as to avoid a star fish for a one night lay.

    Once word spreads around guys will avoid her like the plague!
  2. HereBeADragon is offline

    Senior Member

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    Feb 2010
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    Inland Empire, California
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    1,151

    Posted On:
    12/13/2010 3:29am


     Style: Limalama, Judo & BJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I wanna know why her father and boyfrield would let her leave the country if neither one believes she is capable of being a responsible adult capable of taking care of herself. If she does not know to be careful around strange men and to watch her booze intake than she's already SOL.
  3. Necroyunus is offline

    Registered Member

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    Mar 2007
    Location
    Shanghai
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    908

    Posted On:
    12/13/2010 3:32am


     Style: BJJ and MT at the moment

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by wizwar31 View Post
    Alright bullies, here's the lowdown:

    I have an attractive female friend who is leaving sunny old California to go teach English in CHINA for a year. She attracts male suitors like flies and my roommate/her boyfriend would rather she be able to defend herself while in a foreign country (she has low alcohol tolerance and thinks guys are just "nice" to her cuz they're nice. not cuz they wanna bone her).

    Therefore, both her boyfriend and her father decided to ask me to teach her some moves even though i'm not qualified (six months of judo/bjj/MT).

    My plan is to give her some money to buy a taser/pepper spray once she lands in china. I will also teach her how to throw a punch without hurting herself and some basic BJJ (how to react when someone mounts you or how to pull guard).

    I am open to both humorous and serious suggestions as to how I should instruct her and the material to teach her. We have one month before she leaves and she is saving money for the trip so she wants free instruction.
    wait what? she's coming to China?

    Well I have trained in beijing and now training in shanghai, so if any help is needed about the gyms i can gladly help.

    Also i am not sure if tasers and sprays are legal in here.
  4. Lily is offline
    Lily's Avatar

    Weak

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    Feb 2007
    Location
    Downunder
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    3,520

    Posted On:
    12/13/2010 5:10am

    Join us... or die
     Style: No longer training

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Don't.

    Serious answer - I believe she'll have a height and weight advantage over any potential attacker (unless it's Bolo) so again, don't.
    "I'm reluctant to sound like a total fa66ot as well, but my background in sculpture gave me an edge in understanding how we're expected to move thru space." - The Other Other Serge
  5. kayman101 is offline

    Registered Member

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    Feb 2010
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    Cali
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    Posted On:
    12/13/2010 10:57pm


     Style: bjj (blue) Judo (green)

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Homies don't teach homies self defense. I think teaching her to be a better drunk is sound advice. Rent the movie Beerfest for instruction in this area. Also, spreading the word that her p@&%& stinks will have dudes avoiding her like the plague.
  6. wizwar31 is offline

    Registered Member

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    Jan 2010
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    CA
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    Posted On:
    12/13/2010 10:59pm


     Style: Judo, MT, BJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    okay clarification:

    Yeah mainland china.
    she doesnt drink often but is a lightweight. Nothing we can really do about that.

    Necroyunus, what is legal there? apparently facebook isnt.
  7. karma2343 is offline

    Registered Member

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    Jan 2008
    Location
    Vista, CA
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    625

    Posted On:
    12/13/2010 11:14pm


     Style: Judo noob, heavy bag

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Teach her how to become an activist for a better Chinese government.
  8. wizwar31 is offline

    Registered Member

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    Jan 2010
    Location
    CA
    Posts
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    Posted On:
    12/13/2010 11:17pm


     Style: Judo, MT, BJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by karma2343 View Post
    Teach her how to become an activist for a better Chinese government.
    unlikely (on both parts).

    I am currently writing the curriculum which is consisting of basically my average friday night. now to go to the local bevmo...

    still open to any and all suggestions including favorite drinks.
  9. Necroyunus is offline

    Registered Member

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    Mar 2007
    Location
    Shanghai
    Posts
    908

    Posted On:
    12/13/2010 11:22pm


     Style: BJJ and MT at the moment

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by wizwar31 View Post
    okay clarification:

    Yeah mainland china.
    she doesnt drink often but is a lightweight. Nothing we can really do about that.

    Necroyunus, what is legal there? apparently facebook isnt.
    well a lot of things are illegal in here. It's not like you cannot find it if you want to, but if you ever use them you will be the one that gets in trouble.

    You still didn't tell me where she goes but if its beijing or shanghai,I can easily tell you that it's pretty safe in here though. Really.
    Back in my country you wouldn't want to go out after 9 oclock in some districts. In here even in late night you can still walk on streets.
    A lot of trouble happening here is actually caused by foreigners. :)

    And for the fights and stuff, somebody can piss you off and if you beat them they feel no shame going to police and ask for money.And you HAVE TO pay.(I saw that happen countless times) I even saw some "tough" guys calling their parents. (i mean father-mother, to talk with the guy and ask for money)

    for websites facebook,blogspot,youtube,wordpress and many others are blocked.
    Hell, I even remember registering a website for my old company and it getting blocked next day.

    you shouldn't really worry about her getting in trouble. Seriously.
    The thing you should be worried about is the nightlife because it's really active in here and very cheap compared to other countries and there are people from all around the world, so its pretty easy to get hooked up.
    I've seen people who never drank in their lives or are virgins start getting in orgies in here...so... :)
  10. Dargentus is offline

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Eye-er-land
    Posts
    354

    Posted On:
    12/13/2010 11:50pm


     Style: Kyokushin, MMA

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I heard 'orgies' being entered somewhere on Bullshido and I just had to log in;

    Shanghai sounds just...awesome.

    Thats why most kung fu is so soft cock.

    All those masters' cocks are understandably soft from all the intercourse.

    They are literally played out from being all overorgied.

    Poor incredibly lucky bastards.

    Props to the hamster for the Princess Bride reference.

    As Fezzic would say;

    'If the girls drinks far too much, then pervs' cocks will she munch....'
    Last edited by Dargentus; 12/14/2010 12:01am at . Reason: spelling. now the rhyme is slightly more amusing. Only slightly.
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