I saw a hilarious/awesome str33t fight today

[Wounded Ronin]

Today I got to see a hilarious street fight. I was driving a car with some co workers and in a front yard in a residential area I saw a furious fat woman wielding an aluminum baseball bat one handed to attack another furious fat woman who was relying on empty hand combat. Even though the unarmed woman was getting whacked over the head with the bat she didn't really care because she was taking awkward close range downward swings at the midpoint of the bat or better, so they were both going at it. There were two skinny teenage boys trying to break it up who were hilariously small compared to the fat women.

There was so much movement and energy in the fight that I thought it was truly radiant, like Boccioni's Futurist work of art, "Dynamism of a Soccer Player". I slowed down to watch the kinetic beauty more closely, and to drink in the sincere fighting spirit being projected by both women, but my female co worker started saying repeatedly and quickly to keep going, so I really only saw a few seconds of combat. Later I tried to explain the beauty to her by printing out a color image of Boccioni's work, and with a few Conan the Barbarian quotes about "what is steel, to the hand that wields it?"

In my opinion bat lady would have had more success at close range if she had used good hip rotation to deliver uppercut-like blows to her opponent using the bottom end of the baseball bat handle. Unarmed lady should have tried for a standing shoulder lock given the awkward positioning of bat lady's arm when she went for the close range downward stroke.

Later we drove past again and there were lots of cops there...3 cars and 2 bicycles. Unarmed lady and the two boys were sitting on the fence. Bat lady was nowhere to be seen. LOL!

If you want to train for t3h r34l str33t, you must train to engage fat bat women.

[PizDoff]

Your juxtaposition of art and notable quotes was beautiful, like the wafting of notes drawn from the strings of a Spanish guitar.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgaPz0BhTWU

[goodlun]

If you want to train for t3h r34l str33t, you must train to engage fat bat women.

Well I do live in the suburbs. So I will take head and start training for this immediately.

[Tom .C]

Well I do live in the suburbs. So I will take head and start training for this immediately.

I will take heed that you are taking head

[Permalost]

Being fat seems like a decent passive defense to being clubbed.

[Snake Plissken]

you fail by not getting video of this shining example of all that is good and holy in Crackerdom.

[bjjgame]

Being fat seems like a decent passive defense to being clubbed.

Seals would disagree.

[Larus marinus]

Seals would disagree.

99.9% of them were never really seals.

[Gidi]

I read your story and laughed.
Then I reread it, but this time reading bat as this:


instead of this:


It actually makes it better.
Especially this line:

If you want to train for t3h r34l str33t, you must train to engage fat bat women.

:zicon_bat

[Wounded Ronin]

you fail by not getting video of this shining example of all that is good and holy in Crackerdom.

I know. I really would have liked to share the thrashing flab with the internet. I was literally driving at the time, though. :(