New Seanbaby Article: 5 Signs That Someone Isn't Actually a Badass

[karma2343]

Seanbaby has a new martial arts article today, and like usual its both hilarious and full of good points. I wish I could show this to... well, pretty much everyone.

http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-signs-...tually-badass/

[Arskanator]

An awesome article as always. Wish I was half as funny as Seanbaby.

[Like Water]

The point is, if your martial art is so magical and complicated that you feel the need to explain it, you've probably only tried it out in your imagination. And if you study your own unique fighting art that takes bits and pieces of what's effective from other styles, oh buddy. Oh, you poor thing.

Read more: 5 Signs That Someone Isn't Actually a Badass | Cracked.com http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-signs-...#ixzz29DHDPu6M

Oh, now it's on, SeanBaby. Where's that Bung Fo Do guy at? Time to step up, buddy.

[slamdunc]

We've recently scored a couple of keepers from Cracked. The one about most martial arts students sucking, and now a matrix to determine bad-assery.

[alex]

The story made me sad. Not for those poor huge guys who got caught in the dangerous and forbidden Double Octopus Tapout, but because this idiot managed to tell the story to maybe the one person in the bar with academic certainty that he made it up

this is a strange phenomenon that ive encountered. i know a couple of people who are basically pathological liars. they make up bullshit stories about everything. but for some reason when talking to me, an amateur muay thai fighter, personal trainer, and all round gym bunny, they always bullshit about either feats of physical strength or fighting.

oh, you do squat jumps onto a box with a 100kg bar on your shoulders? yeah that sounds plausible, except your fucking spine would disintegrate. you had 300 kickboxing fights and stopped because you didnt like breaking peoples bones? in this country the most active kickboxers might have 12 fights a year (and that is pushing it) meaning that your non stop fighting career, with no breaks for injury or holiday or anything, spanned about 28 years (or something)

Someone with no idea how these things work would be impressed, i just think youre full of ****. how do they not realise this?

[battlefields]

Similar thing happened to me, recently, Alex. In my new city all my new friends really know of me in a social context is that I don't drink and I train martial arts. At this party a few weeks ago this bloke comes up to me, real intimidating looking bloke, spiderweb tattoos round his eyes, while being covered everywhere else. He'd apparently been talking to someone about me because he is a reformed junkie (who still drinks). Now, dude doesn't need to talk it up, dude is a big motherfucking scary looking guy, but for some reason he begins to tell me stories of the bullshit genre, capping it off with "I had to quit kickboxing because I killed too many people in the ring".

Maybe my calm demeanour, quiet disposition and the fact that when he tried to impose his authority I didn't move caused him to want to impress me or something. Either way, it was classic. His sister apologized profusely for his behaviour later on, although I had no problem with it. Maybe because that was me in the pub six years ago, lol.

[Tranquil Suit]

It happens: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Max_Baer_%28boxer%29



...Very rarely, and you'd have to be a complete scumbag to semi brag about it.

[Tranquil Suit]

double post

[Mr. Machette]

Sean Babay is my favorite Cracked writer. He's the only one who can boast this:

Seanbaby is the World Heavyweight Kumite Champion of the Orient and holds the record for the Fastest Kick With a Knockout at 72,000 mph.


Read more: 5 Signs That Someone Isn't Actually a Badass | Cracked.com http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-signs-...#ixzz29E7EeIIX

[dougguod]

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