7/12/2012 6:30pm, #1
I've got a little "Shaolin" problem..
Alright, I had an experience today that immediately made me think of Bullshido, and I knew I had to bring it to you guys for input.
Now I haven't been to the site in a while, not even to lurk, I just had stopped training a while back and focused more on school, and Bullshido fell on the backburner (I was never a big poster anyway).
Much to my surprise, when I sign on today, the very martial art I'm about to write about was featured in a write up on the front page, but more on that later..
Earlier today, I set off across town, in search for what I was told was an Orthodox mission church in my city.
I won't name the city, because I am rather fond of the people that run the school other than this bit..
..but I was told the mission was housed inside of a Kung Fu studio.
The "Bullshidite" in me recoiled at the words "Kung Fu", but, hey, I'm going for Orthodoxy, not Kung Fu, and we've got Fedor Emelianenko and Troy Palamalu on our side, so the heck with it.
Well, I get there, and "Shaolin Kung Fu" is written in big red letters on the side of the building.
"This does not bode well" said the aged Bullshidite within me, but nevertheless, I entered.
The floor was littered with young human larva, all doing some sort of stretching. A woman walked up to me, put her hands together, and bowed.
I told her why I was there, and indeed, it was the right place.
We talked about the church for a bit, and then the conversation drifted to the studio..
"So what do you guys train here?" I asked, fearing the worst.
"Ah, yes, we train Shaolin Kung Fu. It's the ancient style of martial art from China, we cover all of the animal forms"
"Ah, cool. Do you guys compete locally or something?"
"Oh no, no we don't compete, most of what we learn can't be used in competition"
"God.." I thought, "..it's like right out of McDojo 101."
"Oh. Well, where did you guys learn all of this stuff?"
"We learned under Master Gary *points to a picture of a posing bald guy on the wall* and he learned from Master Zen(?)/Sin(?)/Shen(?) *points to a picture of an asian dude with a mullet and an obscene number of patches on his gi*"
"That's a lot of patches"
"Well, he's the last living grandmaster"
"Alright, well, I have to catch the bus back, I'll see you guys at Church"
"Ok, let me give you a brochure of the school. Have you ever done any martial arts before?"
"I've uh..dabbled here and there.."
"Ah, well, you'd really like it here"
And this, my friends, is where I made my mistake.
I could have said no thanks.
I could have kept my mouth shut.
But no. Be it the cute girl that was practicing some tai-chi looking stuff in the corner, or the fact that I've not trained in a year or so and wanted something to do..
..I don't know..
..but I opened my mouth and I said
"I might check it out some time, see what it's about"
Her face lit up.
Next thing I know, I'm loaded down with brochures and schedules, and now I'm obligated by the rule of manners to attend.
I'm on my way out the door when one of the guys who lives in the same neighborhood as me says he'll give me a ride rather than me taking the bus..
..so I accept.
On the ride home, I'm trying to make small talk.
"So..how long have you trained?"
"Shaolin? About 12 years. I did Aikido and Tai Chi before this."
"I messed about with Savate a bit, got into ground fighting through Combatives in the Army, attended a few Judo seminars"
"Well, you're in the big leagues now."
"We do some ground fighting too. Jujitsu picked up most of it's groundfighting from Monkey Style Kung Fu"
"Do you guys roll around ever? Spar?"
"Not really. This isn't like kickboxing. Some of the moves you learn here will put someone through a wall even with pads."
Heaven help me..
What have I gotten myself into?
Am I really going to stick around and subjugate myself to this?
The cute girl really was cute, but is she worth this?
Every Bullshidite bone in my body is crying out in anguish at the thought of it.
But it's not like I'm training right now, I'm not really doing anything physical other than jogging the 2 miles to and from the bus station in the morning.
And then I find this thing on the front page about Shaolin-Do.
I'm not even sure if it's the same group..
But I'm going into this knowing it's bullshit.
Anyway, I figured I'd come here and gripe.ask for advice, since it brought out all of the old feelings in my gut that made me join this site back in the day in the first place.
Keep in mind, these aren't "bad" people, I feel kind of guilty bashing their school behind their backs, they seem like genuine, nice folks.
It's just the martial art they train..it's Bullshido in it's purest form..
Last edited by RegularJoe; 7/12/2012 6:39pm at .
7/12/2012 6:43pm, #2
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
- Shelton, CT
Hey man if it's exercise and there are cute ladies who share your church affiliation, why not go. Is it expensive? After all, you know what it can and cant do for you, and....
Plus you might be able to slowly, insidiously introduce sparring into their dojo.
7/12/2012 6:45pm, #3
So, do something you silently mock so that you can spend time with a cute girl that works at the place that you mock? I wouldn't. You wouldn't want to damage your eyes with all that rolling.
7/12/2012 6:47pm, #4
make vids, post them here. amuse us as you wallow in the ****.
7/12/2012 6:58pm, #5
4. Go back to grappling.GET A RED BELT OR DIE TRYIN'.
7/12/2012 6:59pm, #6
If you go through with this, you should do every kick they drill with those flamboyant classical savate arm extensions.
7/12/2012 7:01pm, #7
It depends on how high on the douche level you wish to take it
I had a similar experience many,many moons ago when I was on a break back from Uni and staying with my parents. I wanted to keep my hand in with the Ju-Jutsu I was taking (not BJJ...I don't think that had even dropped in the UK at this point) and went to a local academy.
After meeting the class - who seemed like really nice guys - and being told I couldn;t wear my belt because it was not in their style (again, no biggie but an attitude I never really understood) I met the coach....who was a prick and an arrogant one to boot
My alarm bells were ringing by the time we finished the warm-ups and started learning throws. I was told to "calm down a bit" because I was throwing people "too hard" - what the ****??? As I was a bit younger and less of an asshole I simplysaid, "sorry I am just used to that way...I'll try and relax a bit" and carried on. Clearly my card had been marked though because I was watched like a hawk after that.
Ironically the guy I was training with (apparently a brown belt in that style) was digging it - he was not technically good at all, but had a real spark of interest in "turning it up a notch". We just played back and forth for the throws and then it was on to the "self-defense"
Oh my fucking deity of choice........
When you hear a phrase like "we need to do a few flashy moves when we defend because that puts other people off" you KNOW you have fucking problems! He threw his own students for the first couple, and they obliged with the usual "wet lettuce" attack and corpse-like reactions to the defence.
By this stage the coach had clearly decided to teach this upstart a lesson and picked me out to demo on. By this stage my tolerance for his horeshit had expired - not a good recipe
He asked me to throw a punch - haymaker - I delivered it with a bit of pop, but no venom. His balance was already fucked just from this, but I hled teh arm out like a good demo partner. He give me the usual sort of "outer block, gut punch" defense (making sure he gave me a dig - ooh! so catty) and then entered into a hip throw. Nothing disastrous really, but fairly standard goshin stuff. This was where it got problematic for him
He held me "down" on the floor in a weak ass straight arm lock and blody claimed - "From here I can easily defend any punch...just try and hit me". His students previously had flung their arms ineffectually at him, to laughter from the other students as he "defended". I thought "**** you" - I "popped" my hip first, rolled it and smacked him clean in the gob
Man that felt good
The collective jaw-dropping was even funnier
Needless to say it was suggested I did not return....and as i did not want to I said so "sorry but even if I could I do not think that this place suits my training goals. Thanks for tonight and all the best"
A long story - possibly dull - but I use it to illustrate a point. You can either go along and play their game (which will destroy your soul) or just make their own bullshit be their demise...or be a complete ass and just **** **** up on them!!!
Either way let us know what happens
7/12/2012 7:17pm, #8
shaolin-do is not the same thing as shaolin kung fu.
it sounds like a typical crappy kung fu school, but nothing worth getting excited about. i suggest not going back."Face punches are an essential character building part of a martial art. You don't truly love your children unless you allow them to get punched in the face." - chi-conspiricy
"When I was a little boy, I had a sailor suit, but it didn't mean I was in the Navy." - Mtripp on the subject of a 5 year old karate black belt
"Without actual qualifications to be a Zen teacher, your instructor is just another roundeye raping Asian culture for a buck." - Errant108
"Seriously, who gives a **** what you or Errant think? You're Asian males, everyone just ignores you, unless you're in a krotty movie." - new2bjj
7/12/2012 7:25pm, #9
- Join Date
- Jul 2008
7/12/2012 7:59pm, #10
I've never done an inside Bullshido job, that's an option