Steven Seagal in Sheep Impact

**Larus marinus** · Posted On: 7/09/2011 3:13pm

(Or should that be "Steven Seagal *is* Sheep Impact"?)

Remember that Aussie beer company competition last year where people could send in their amusing personal anecdotes, with the best one being selected and made into a short film starring The Seagull? This is the end result/winner.

English

Watch Now!

***Tranquil Suit*** · Posted On: 7/09/2011 5:38pm

I didn't even laugh once. It's just not funny.

**Larus marinus** · Posted On: 7/09/2011 5:51pm

"Are you the only 26 year old who's never told a lie" - "Yes" got a smile out of me, I must admit.

That and Seagal saying 'mate'.

**Seedle Avenger** · Posted On: 7/10/2011 4:42am

This.. Was kinda ****.. but when he's killed in Machete.
Best death scene ever.

**atomicpoet** · Posted On: 7/10/2011 8:38pm

The knife scene got me laughing, as well as the glass eye.

**bobyclumsyninja** · Posted On: 7/10/2011 11:32pm

Wow, what happened to Shifu? Seagal is so fat, his voice bubbles when he talks, like all that yogurt and souffle he must be snarfing by the jug, are fighting to get back up.

Only got through 2 seconds of his dialogue....I assume it all sucked?

**Larus marinus** · Posted On: 7/11/2011 2:21pm

Originally Posted by bobyclumsyninja

Wow, what happened to Shifu? Seagal is so fat, his voice bubbles when he talks, like all that yogurt and souffle he must be snarfing by the jug, are fighting to get back up.

Only got through 2 seconds of his dialogue....I assume it all sucked?

If he's still a vegan, how many pounds of veggies do you think that this beast of a man is scarfing down on an average day?

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Vito Corleone. He is.

**bobyclumsyninja** · Posted On: 7/11/2011 2:25pm

Originally Posted by Larus marinus

If he's still a vegan, how many pounds of veggies do you think that this beast of a man is scarfing down on an average day?

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Vito Corleone. He is.

A vegan, as in...he only eats herbivores? He looks like a three-ribeye guy, to me.

The stats are off on this. He has way more than 0g saturated fat. In fact, His name should be Steven "saturated fatty" Seagal

.oh lord
ooh you are so big
so absolutely huge
gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I tell you
.....but you're so strong, and well...just so super.

is there a way to adapt the 'meaning of life' Monty Python prayer, for Shifu's benefit?

**MichaelDescado** · Posted On: 7/11/2011 2:39pm

Yeah, Seagal's a vegan like I play the French horn...

**Larus marinus** · Posted On: 7/11/2011 3:41pm

I was gonna shoop my avatar to add extra fat and calories - but it looked like ass when I started, so I didn't bother. I'm no good at graphics.

Unless trans-fats have started growing on trees, I can't see Big Poppa as a vegan either. Actually, he strikes me as the kind of guy who'd be all like "I want veal - but I want it from a calf that's been kept extra-immobile in the deepest, darkest part of the dungeon".