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The Haymaker is the AK-47 of punches. Its powerful, a kid can use one, and they are the tool of the opressed everywhere.
For example, like most 8th graders my friends and I were quick to captialize on any opportunity to taunt, humilate or otherwise abuse anyone we could. Since we were pretty much at the bottom of the respective food chain, we were relegated to picking on younger kids.
Everyday, when the last bell rang the 7th graders would haul butt to the bus canopy. Now, every school has a nerdy kid that refuses to use his locker. As a result, they tend to carry all of their books in a gigantic, overstuffed bookbag. For a tiny 13 year old, the mass of such a bookbag, can actually be proprotional to the mass of the student.
So, everyday there would be a pod of little nerds, leaning forward. straining against their bookbags, and moving as fast as thier little stick legs would carry them to the bus. We discovered that one simple push, timed correctly would send them sprialing horribly out of control at top speed, usually into the ground, or a pylon.
So we'd wait, like pike in the weeds, everyday for our quarry. Naturally, on about the 3rd day, one little guy had enough. When he got pushed he went down in a spray of "Magic: The Gatering" cards and Micromachines. The centrifugal force of him spinning and hitting the ground had caused his overstuffed bag, that was straining at the seams, to come completely apart, spilling the contents everywhere.
We could tell he was embarrassed. We could tell he was angry. In fact, he was mad as hell and not going to take it anymore. He struggled out of the wreakage of his bookbag and came up swinging.
Haymakers. Thrown with rage and angst that can only be mustered by a Nerd-Pushed-Past-the-Edge. "EEEEAAARGHH" was his squeaky battle cry. One haymaker landed directly on my friends eye, which instantly reddened and swelled. Suddenly the game wasn't so cool. Couldn't this kid take a joke? And calm down man, that teacher is watching!
Indeed we had been spotted by a coach, who had obiviously been watching the whole thing. We were sure we were busted, but he never did anything. Just watched and smiled, as if he knew that justice administered by Haymaker was more permanent and real than any in-school suspension could ever be. He was right too, we never messed with those kids again.
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