When you watch those videos, all of the little sycophants are breathlessly singing her praises, but you never get any insight into what is supposedly so important. Just what is her message that needs to be told? It is a form of circular logic... she has in important message, and it is important because she is saying it, and it is important because she thinks it is, but you never hear anything other than the silly New-Age cotton-candy platitudes. If you were to ask the COL'ons what the big deal is, all they can do is gush about how awesome kimpers is. So.... Where's the beef?
I just had one of my bizarre JSW dreams this morning. In it, I went into a store where it was like a coffee shop bookstore and there ere JSW people there, probably selling some of TYK's stuff in a corner with garish abandon. Then KMC was in it and he scowled because I had not trained for years. I went to a table like setting, where a shop counter was, and wanted to buy some books, but AT was there, being incognito, and she scolded me for two things, while preparing to ring up my order of a non related Star Trek book. 'You knew it was a cult and you were a black belt with responsibilities and made no attempt to pull me out of there', and another opposite seeming thing, 'you have the balls to walk in here now and act nice to me in front of them, blowing my cover'. This was a dream so it was kind of weird. Anyway, next to me was a current unknown student who egged me on that ' was just there to pick up on this cashier and not interested in buying anything'. When I attempted to explain that I was not, that I knew the girl's mom and we were all black belts, and she was like born there practically, he wasn't phased, and she got a little madder, but even so sold me the book, and two necklaces, and a song CD. The current student also got mad because he thought it all a ruse and 'if you were like a father figure to the Yong Sa kids' why didn't you stop it'? I replied that I didn't have that kind of power as a black belt, and was just as 'immature and lost and misdirected' as everyone else until I saw the light, around 2005 or so. For two years everyone got weirder and current students were leaving, and I did made a difference for them. I was sorry I wasn't able to 'rescue AT's mom from the cult', or whatever. Isn't that just weird? I wasn't but a part time COL, and if I had made waves like that, I would have easily been TYK's enemy. It made much more diplomatic sense to have a low profile and walk out with a cordial goodbye when things went south in 2007. I tried to explain this in the dream, while the current students were fuming. 'Love thy enemy and love thy neighbor' I noted there, and I purchased the items, and the CD was left behind as I left.
The dream begs the question, as many of us were instructors, what really could we have done but have run out when the going got weird?
Even if I had said something, I likely would have been ridiculed or something. Or worse. But we're here now!
Kitty Ki -
Dreams are made up of threads of things that have happened to you recently or in the not too distant past.
Don't dwell on it, don't even try and make sense of it. Just about everyone that leaves a cult, a domestic violence situation, a battlefield, etc has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
And hindsight is 100 percent...but back then we were all hypnotized and believed in her enagee
Even to this day, I still have nightmares from being with kimpers. Though the frequency of those dreams has diminished, they still crop up from time-to-time.
The first year I left I did have a lot of dreams where I was 'late for class' and got into trouble like I was a junior belt or something. When I was really into training and a young adult I had dreams about being lost or searching for others who were lost there. Yeah, it doesn't make sense to analyze it, but it was so vivid! And to an extent I wasn't able to be hypnotized, so I guess my subconscious said, if you really weren't sucked in, why did you not do very much to get out? Well, obviously TYK had a lot of influence and it would have been impossible to buck the system. I've never had naughty dreams about her. Eeewww! Just the thought of that even when I was 20 and a green belt is nasty! I knew I couldn't have handled it. Ha. FS, I never dreamed about me harming them but about others doing it. I was never that angry about them because I didn't know really what horrors were going on inside those COL houses, just rumors, until I was a black belt for a while and heard rumors. Then this site and others appeared. Heh.
Just imagining what AG went through...eeeww, that's just nasty.