Brock Lesnar - Douchebag of the Month - July 2009
Congratulations to the UFC's undisputed Heavyweight champion, Brock Lesnar. Congratulations...
...for winning our Douchebag of the Month award.
Don't get us wrong, we've got no doubts that as an athlete and a competitor, you belong in the Octagon. But when it comes to class, you belong in the trailer park.
We'd like to give you the benefit of the doubt and think that you just haven't "gotten" the sport of MMA and how things are done. After all, the only other option is that you're just... well there's no other way of putting it, a ****.
Your physical gifts are undeniable, and it's beyond question that you're a force the Heavyweight division has never seen. None of that excuses your behavior. Strike one, you turned your back on your opponent when the referee instructed you to touch gloves. Strike two, you flipped off the fans; you know, the people responsible for paying your salary (although we've got no idea what arrangements you have with "Deathclutch" but I'm sure that unless it's your cousin's basement operation, they won't be too happy either).
Then there's the matter of the third strike against your character. In MMA, it doesn't matter how much trash is talked before the fight; after it's over, it's squashed. Plain and simple, the fight is decided, the tickets are sold, and the need for hype is over. That's when it's time to go back to acting like grown-ups and not little dickling teenagers, peacocking to impress the sluttiest cheerleader.
MMA doesn't need heels. We know that you know this is not the WWE. But are you aware that the only "character" you need to play is the one of "skilled fighter"? The days of "Bad For the Sport" are grinding to a close. The demographics are shifting from beer-swilling hillbillies who would enjoy staged fights as much as real ones, to educated, median-to-high income folks who aren't impressed by a bleached gorilla flinging verbal poo from within his cage.
If all of this wasn't bad enough, you topped off the **** sundae with a cherry of a comment about "climbing on your wife" in the post-fight interview.
You know that stuff about us giving you the benefit of the doubt? Well come to think about it, in light of this last bit we retract that. You've got less class than public school in July.
We wish you all the success in the world in a sport that many of us have supported through its dark days and took an active part in getting it to the point where we could have a full c-note of events in the UFC. But to have gotten to the 100th UFC only to have you open your face-ass and take a steaming **** on us is just unacceptable.
Here's to hoping Dana White drops some MOAB-esque F-bombs on your stupid, supremely talented, classless ass. We all know they're not going to let you out of your contract over these antics. But if we stop shelling out $50 a pop for the Pay Per Views you're on, maybe they'll rethink the merits of keeping you around.
Yeah, we know better. But here's to hoping.
Brock Lesnar, you are our Douchebag of the Month. Thanks for ruining UFC 100.