Also, you'd be surprised how, just by mentioning the fact that you have stun gun knuckles, people will volunteer to get punched/zapped/thunderfisted.
"Achilles Trojan Warrior Helmet"
Do I have to point out what's wrong with this statement?
The fact that it is, despite the title, not a condom?
Achilles was a Greek. Trojans were teh ghey. Achilles eats teh ghey, and rapes teh wimminz. Not wears their helmuts.
You know, if you wanted, I could test them on you this coming throwdown.
I promise not to take advantage of your paralyzed supple body.