When I was in wrestling, my coach told me that stability and a strong base was key. He never specifically brought up tensing up verses relaxing, but the way he taught us how to wrestle seemed to imply that being tense was at the very least, not necessarily a bad thing.
Now I am learning Judo, and i am constantly being told that I need to relax while I spar. I find that i actually have to make a huge effort to relax to the point where they give me the nod of approval. In my mind, thinking about throwing someone to the ground doesn't reconcile with relaxation.
Does being tense have any place in Judo, if not, then how come i have so much trouble relaxing and how can I overcome it, and if being tense is applicable to judo, how do I use it without telegraphing?