Badass of the Month - January 2008: Monica Brown and Leigh Anne Hester
Attention Jessica Lynch: sit the **** down.
Yeah, we've got two badasses for the price of one this month.
First off is Army Spc. Monica Lin Brown who earned herself a little trinket over in Afghanistan. You might have heard of it, maybe... it's called the SILVER STAR.
Instead of being a "hero" for a desert version of Girls Gone <strike>Wild</strike> Missing shot with a night vision filter, Monica survived a bomb explosion, dragged everyone out of a burning vehicle, stormed through machinegun fire, and used her own body as cover to provide aid to other wounded soldiers.
And I fucking guarantee your girlfriend wouldn't do that for you. Go on, admit it.
So wait, if she's such a badass then how much badder of an ass sits atop the legs of the other female soldier to win this medal?
How about one that carries the rest of her straight into the enemy ambush with a grenade launcher to kill a bunch of dirty, freedom-and-bacon-hating bad guys?
Yeah, Military Policewoman and NCO (hooah) Sgt. Leigh Ann Hester hopped out of her vehicle with "**** YOUR AMBUSH" on her lips while rallying with her squad leader to cut that dumb **** out and personally give three insurgents a hot lead vaccination that cured them of a pesky case of life they had at the time.
Did I mention she carried a freakin grenade launcher? That's badass in itself, but only because the author of this article carried one too. The author, however, didn't get to use it to kill anyone, let alone someone who has the temerity to dislike BLTs. So yeah, she's already at BadCon 3, just for that.
And get this, the sheer mass of these fine ladies' badassery is so great that it's created a rift in time that sends this article back to January, even though it was written in March.
Hell yeah. Spc. Monica Lin Brown, Sgt. Leigh Ann Hester, you are Bullshido's Badasses of the Month.