February is Human Weapon Sucks Month
Hi all, Bill Duff here*. I used American Muscle™ along with my Football and Wrestling skills to take over Phrost's account and write the news post for this month's "Sucks" theme.
I realize that you guys make fun of everyone and everything in the Martial Arts. And that's ok, the Duffman has a sense of humor too. No, really, I do. Just the other day, Jason was like "Hey Bill, what do you get when you cross an Owl and a Bungee Cord?" and before I could answer he double legged me and slapped on a locoplata until I soiled myself. Good times.
Besides, we know that February is the shortest month of the year, so that must mean you guys don't hate
us me as much as say, Taekwondo, or Wing Chun. Right?
Regardless, let's try not to focus on the awful, corny segments where our producers force
Jason us to humor the nutballs and bullshidoka "masters" doing stupid crap like chain punches and double uppercuts. Let's not spend our time discussing the deluded idiots on the Human Weapon Forums and how they eat that **** up and make up the bulk of our audience who'd otherwise be sitting in their boxers with a bag of Doritos and a debilitating sense of loneliness while watching Modern Marvels. And for the love of ham, let's not discuss all the glaring inaccuracies and pure bullshit the show puts out as fact. K?
Let's focus on the good aspects of this show, like Jason's hair, the fact that we got to see Ricco Rodriguez before he went on Celebrity Rehab, and watching yours truly break the rules and use dirty tactics against the people I fight on the show.
What do you say guys?
* Not really, what are you, stupid? You sadistic bastards would gang raep Bill if he ever posted here.