Originally Posted by Jeet Kune Do
Originally Posted by Jeet Kune Do
I had a strange run-in yesterday.
I was at a coffee shop and saw a kid come in with a "Quest Martial Arts" t-shirt. I thought, "Team Quest? I wonder if that kid does MMA. I'll ask him." But he was thin, pasty, and a bit gangly. I waited, sensing that something was wrong.
Then I noticed the back of the shirt. "To Shin Do". Huh? I thought it sounded Korean, but the lettering with it looked Japanese. He sat close to me, reading a book called "Your Own Worst Enemy: Breaking the Habit of Adult Underachievement" and writing a paper on it. I wondered if he was writing it for "To Shin Do" class.
Later on that night I went outside and "To Shin Do" guy was talking to one of my friends. I noticed that he kept doing little moves while he was talking, almost as if something from the shadows was going to attack him. Then he started talking about how one time "while training on an island" he was "attacked by a goose while swordfighting in the water". He said he blocked it with his bokken, and then it came back at him and he knocked it unconscious. The world looked darker around me. "Could this be? Is this a dreaded Ninjer that talks before me at this very moment?" My mind raced... or at least was slightly or somewhat amused.
Someone mentioned Ohio. Fucking mistake. "Ohio has an amazing martial arts scene. They have more ninja than any other state!"
"Like, r3a1 ninja?" I asked.
"Yeah! Master Hayes, the highest ranked ninja in the U.S. is based there. He's like, 15th..."
I cut him off. "15th dan? He can't be the highest then. What about all of those mail-order 128th dans?"
He gave me an odd look. I thought that maybe he suspected something. "Well, those guys aren't real. They just think they are. The only guys in the world better than Master Hayes are in Japan. I want to go to Japan one day. It's awesome. I want to get a cherry-blossom tattoo."
"I blame the 80's."
"Our belts are real though. The main guy in Japan decided to make lots of money off of people willing to give it to him so that he could build a nice dojo for his real students."
"You mean Hatsumi?" He looked concerned, almost confused. "To Shin Do" boy cocked his head to the side.
"Yeah," he continued. "At least we're not Tae Kwon Do. I mean, their martial art isn't even real!"
"Yeah, at least you guys don't have 6th dans.... who are 8 years old!" We both laughed a little. He laughed a little uncomfortably. "Seriously though, ninjitsu isn't real either. I mean, it's not a fighting art at all."
"No, ninjitsu is very real. I mean, I've been learning tons of moves..."
"But ninjitsu itself isn't fighting. Are you bujitsu or taijitsu?"
He stared at me, almost sad, I thought. "Yes," he said to my question. He was breathing through his mouth, his eyes wide open. It felt the the fucking climax of every goddamn romance movie with him looking at me that way. But he looked afraid.
Then he asked it. As if I was some hidden shadow savior that had materialized out of the darkness was there to test him. As if I was the masked shinobi lord who had floated down into his measly existence. As if he was going to ask for my autograph. "Are you... ninja?"
I laughed him off and didn't answer. The nerd lighting fireworks came over and started asking all of us if we had any old Magic cards that he could buy. "To Shin Do" boy continued to look at me in wonderment, but took his leave as "I play Magic to help me be more social" guy took over.
That was a beautiful story...
Where's the part where you challenge him to a _ing _un vs. Ninja Throwdown?
It would have proven useless... I didn't have a video camera.Quote:
Originally Posted by Feryk
We would have accepted ER doctor's reports, you know.
Originally Posted by Dagon Akujin
Now that's how you write a ninjas suck thread! The n00b's village should be burned, his land salted, and he should banned for 3 days.
God damnit, that was funny.