Mr. Muscles…Big for nothing!
If you coach, teach, train, or just fucking work out, have you met “this guy” and are you as sick of him as I am?
I own a dojo. I am also a LEO. In Indiana we can work part-time security for private businesses. One of the places I work is a bar on the weekends. I just sit up at the door with the bouncers in uniform to take care of any problems outside or fights that spill out.
As fate would have it, A while back Mr. Muscles came in. Who is that you ask? Well I am sure you have seen him. He usually goes to bars wearing a cage fighting t-shirt with some I can kick your ass logo on the back. His arms are heavily and tribally tattooed with a host of skulls and Japanese writing. He is usually bald with the customary goatee.
Being 5.0, I never usually get accosted by Mr. Muscles but the bouncers are fair game. With in moments, Mr. Muscles was blowing beer breath and veiled threats to the doorman I was standing by. Started off with the “I just got back from the cage fights” to “I will go out on the street and roll with you right now muther fucker! I am an extreme cage fighter!”
I looked at the walking Bicep and finally told him to go the **** on! I was tired of hearing about Bart vales shoot fighting school. He started telling me about his extensive training, and how he will soon be in the cage. Having had enough, though I rarely do this. I gave him a card to my school and told him of Fridays, we do the MMA stuff. Come in lets have a go.
Well low and behold Mr. Muscles actually showed up. My school is mostly a stand up school, but on Fridays I have one of the integrated fighting instructors teach the ground fighting. As luck would have it the instructor was sick and called off. Even though I have been rolling a couple of years and can hold my own. I won’t teach grappling because I don’t think I am that good yet. Holding your own and teaching are too different things.
So usually the guys just free roll if the instructor can’t make it or they do some boxing or what ever. Mr. Muscles seemed disappointed that the grappling instructor was not there. He made the comment that he was going to take his job. (As if). He asked me what I wanted to do. What ever!
I discovered that Mr. Muscles also did Muay Thai! A shoot fighting, BJJ, Muay Thai, cage fighter! I had to have my ACL replaced a while back and put on some weight during the recovery. (From fighting training). For some reason Mr. BJJ did not want to roll with 275 Lbs. So he snidely made reference to his abs. (which were cut.) and my “Belly” and said he would box with me “lightly” “You Know” What ever. Cool!
I put on the head gear. 25 years of doing this **** has taught me one thing. Tough ego in training = injury and at 37 years old that’s a long time to heal. I got the “you’re a pussy” look. Too me, light boxing is about 50% power. Combinations and footwork play. Most of you that train good know what I mean when I say my nose does not bleed any more. So I thought I knew what “light” meant.
The first thing he threw was the big grunting cross/hook/swing thing. I moved back and looked at him. He hit his chest with is gloves and yelled “come on!” I fight south paw. He threw a jab; I slipped and threw a straight left hard. Boom! Down he went t-shirt going to the bloody nose. Up quick and the pain dace for about 20 seconds followed with “dude that was not fucking cool!” And then he left. Not before I reminded him about the wavier he signed.
My point to this long winded post is this. We bitch about the McSenseis all day but the Mr. Muscles are really starting to get on my nerves. A cage-fighting t-shirt, tattoos, and countless hours pushing iron don’t make a fighter. Years of solid training, injuries, broken noses, fat lips, blown knees, hurt elbows, peeing blood, and doing it all again tomorrow make a good fighter. Some of the toughest guys I ever fought worked at best buy, or fixing computers, or even teaching high school biology. All the tattoos, shaved heads and muscles don’t make you tough…Mr. Muscles is big for nothing!