Omegenisms: True Stories of omega's fighting prowess;
Okay you guys have known me (Ha!) long enough to know I won't bullshit you on this. I thought I'd let you in on some of my truer than life stories showing off my fighting prowess or in some cases lack thereof.
“Bruce Lee has Nothing on Me”
***The lead up****
I was finishing my last year of college and I was working as an assistant manager of a local movie theatre. An old friend from high school just walked by. I hadn’t seen him in years and we were sharing with some of the other employees some of the juvenile things we used to do. My friend (picture of a 6’7” 380 lbs light skinned Blackman) on how I always seemed to get into fights despite my relatively short stature (I’m about 5’10 190 at this point in my life but I used to be 160). As we were talking waiting for the last show to break a guy came in claiming that he wanted to look for a friend in one of the movie theatres. I told him that there was no longer anybody in those theatres but he was welcomed to look if he wanted to.
Instead of going into the movie theatres the guy went straight for the restrooms. This irritated me to know end because he felt he needed to lie just to use the restrooms. After about 15 minutes I went to bang on the door to tell him to hurry up (the last movie was breaking and I didn’t feel like staying any longer). After the last customer left he was still in the bathroom so I knocked on the door and asked him if he needed any help, he didn’t answer so I thought the worst (naked man on the toilet at 1 am in the morning is not a pleasant site), I told him to hurry up. He says or what and I inform him that I’ll call the police. 5 minutes later he comes out of the bathroom and gets with in my “safety” zone. He asked me where the police were and I told him that I didn’t call them but that he’s now trespassing. Needless to say an argument ensued where he asked for the phone #’s of my boss etc. and that he’d kick my ass if I wasn’t working. I informed him I’ll be off in 15 minutes if he’d like to wait outside.
The guy took off and not more than 10 minutes later comes back with a friend from a local bar. His friend asked me what my problem was and I informed him of his friends brashness, then he decided to lecture me on the finer points of customer service, this is about the time I reminded him that his friend wasn’t technically a customer. After a while I informed them that they have all the information they needed, they were trespassing and we’d be calling the police. They said go for it so I had one of the employees call the police. I then informed them they could wait outside for the police to arrive and I went to walk away and the new guy grabbed my arm, I quickly slapped away his hand and dropped back into KUNG-FU fighting stance #1 (this is where you insert your jokes). The guy asked me if I was some kind of Taekwondo fighter (I should have just punched him for that remark). I told him no but I did know martial arts and that he’d now crossed the line (at this time my high school friend was busting up laughing). I went to go close the door on the guys and the original guy grabbed me.
As the guy grabbed me and pulled me out into the outside atrium I kicked the inside of his leg forcing him into a pseudo split. Then I repositioned my self to snap kick him in the groin, it didn’t work (yes guys, I have been talking from experience when I’ve been saying that kicking them in the groin doesn’t always work). So I punched him in the face (not really that hard just enough to drop him on his but and bust his nose).
****Note: my friend who used to get in rumbles with me all the time stopped all the employees telling them “wait this is going to be funny” (he told me afterwards)
****2nd note: Every strike I did after that snap kick I made Bruce Lee noises, I thought it would be fun.
I caught the movement of his friend from the corner of my eye and ducked under his “hail mary” punch from BFE. Insert about 8 “movie like” kung-fu maneuvers with full sound effects here and then threw him into his friend. The original moron decides that he should also try the “hail mary” punch …..checking side kick> round house kick to his leg, punch rib, hook to face, spinning back kick > flying moron (don’t forget the Bruce Lee sounds here). His other friend then runs up as I’m finishing by back kick and tries a kick of his own. I block and move, actually told the guy “you shouldn’t have done that”, then when he tried his telegraphed reverse punch I ‘Steven Segal’ed’ him with a ridge hand that sent him rolling back.
Mustering up one last futile attempt the original guy decided to take a boxers stance and come at me. At this point I had barely been hitting the guys so I decided to just lay into him with a (don’t laugh) center strike. KO the guy (even if it was for about 4 seconds). They both take off. Everybody was busting up laughing. Then my friend informed me that he had held everybody back. We then turned around because of some noises from outside and the two morons were outside making fun of the fact I was making Bruce Lee sounds during the fight. Comment to everybody with a bewildered look upon my face “didn’t I just get done kicking there asses?”
As everybody agreed I smiled with the comical relief that was happening. As they were making fun of me two police officers walked up behind them. Priceless.
Epilogue: Two days later I get sent pamphlets on “Victims of Violence”. Later that night the two bozos tried to come into the bar I bounced at. Life is good.