A SHINING example of kung fu BULLSHIdo (warning: long)
My pops used to tell me about this kung fu roommate he had back in the day, and how he was super-deadly, and ripped hearts out. Well, tonight we were chatting, and the subject came up.
This is how these myths are perpetuated, dammit.
ME: you should come join my judo class
MY DAD: NOT
ME: there's a few old farts in there, you wouldn't be alone ;-)
MY DAD: JUDO IS *****
ME: you gotta be kidding me
MY DAD: NO
MY DAD: NOT KUNG FOO THOUGH
MY DAD: IF I COCK MY 357 THERE WILL NOT BE ANY TALKING ****
MY DAD: I LIVED WITH A GUY THAT WAS A 5TH DEGREE BLACK BELT IN KUNG FU .IT IS A RELIGION
ME: could he fly?
MY DAD: IM NOT SURE BUT YOU COULD BARELY SEE HIM MOVE
MY DAD: VERY DEADLY
ME: I bet
MY DAD: JUDO IS MORE DEFENCIVE
ME: one of those guys who could rip your heart out and show it to you, right?
MY DAD: WRESTLING
MY DAD: YES
ME: did I mention that it's impossible?
MY DAD: THEY TRAIN WITH ANIMALS
MY DAD: YOU ARE WRONG
MY DAD: BET
ME: ok :)
ME: I'm wrong.
MY DAD: YES YOU SAID IMPOSSABLE
MY DAD: YOU JUST DONT KNOW
ME: a guy is not going to rip through your sternum and pull your heart through it
MY DAD: THAT IS WHY IT IS ILLEGAL IN THE U.S.
ME: that's a huge, thick plate of bone
ME: what's illegal?
ME: ripping people's hearts out?
MY DAD: YOU JUST DONT
MY DAD: KUNG-FU
ME: kung fu is not illegal
MY DAD: ITS AGAINST THE LAW IN THE U.S. TO TEACH
ME: yes, I do know, pops
MY DAD: NO YOU DONT
ME: kung fu can be learned in no less than 3 or 4 places on this side of town
MY DAD: NOT TRUE KUNG FU
MY DAD: I WILL BET
MY DAD: A FORM THERE OF
ME: sounds like your roommate fed you a lot of ****...
MY DAD: RIGHT
ME: seriously, dad
MY DAD: YOU GO AND ASK THEM THEY WILL TELL YOU
MY DAD: NOT TRUE KUNG FU
ME: of course they will, they have long-term contracts to sell
MY DAD: NO RELIGION
ME: they have the mystical art to uphold
ME: kung fu is not a religion
ME: the monks that “invented” kung fu were buddhist
MY DAD: IT IS AGAINST THE LAW . IT IS TO DEADLY
MY DAD: LIKE A RELIGION
ME: hitting people with bats is illegal, it's also deadly
ME: they teach swordplay in lots of japanese schools...that's quite legal and deadly
MY DAD: YOU DONT UNDERSTAND
ME: I understand perfectly
MY DAD: YOU THINK
ME: you were duped by your roommate
MY DAD: YOU ARE DUPED
ME: no way, I know what's real and what's not
MY DAD: YOU JUST THINK
ME: there are no forbidden and illegal martial arts in the US
MY DAD: I HAVE SEEN
MY DAD: YES THERE IS
ME: Many different schools teach many different styles, many weapons, etc. These are all legal and deadly. Why would these “special” kung fu styles be illegal?
MY DAD: TRUE KUNG FU
MY DAD: DEADLY
ME: we're not getting anywhere
MY DAD: ALL OF THE MOVES
ME: we'll just have to agree to disagree
MY DAD: YOU DONT HAVE TO BELIVE ME
ME: good :)
MY DAD: ITS AMAZING