I ask them If they are one of the wiggles. Happens so often the response is automatic.
Originally Posted by Vieux Normand
Are you serious?
No I am doing standup.
Is that number on your shirt your I.Q.
No because then you would have a badge with dickhead written on it.
I have a thousand dollars to spend.
I don't work on commission.
You are picking on me because I am black.
I cant be I am one tenth cherokee indian.
Don't touch me.
(I start poking them with my finger and giggling)
I am finding my whole life is a strip phrase.
Take a few beatings and you will realize being level-headed is the better course of action for both winning and losing. I am an angry person, so the pent-up aggression is always there. I go for slow boiling focused aggression with brain engaged enough to know when I'm beaten.
I began my heavy training w a tough ass wrestling coach who basically ground into bus that we are all on the same team so for the next two decades in any art I train with I kind of think of every classmate as a teammate and every teacher as a coach.
Of course they never made me climb up the walls while cranking the temp up to 90.
I generally try to nip any temper in the bud before it gets to the point I'd show it, even if it means removing myself (calmly) from the situation.
For instance, on Friday we were doing some single stick sparring, my second time overall and first time against the boys. The instructor told my third sparring partner to go lightly, as I'm coming back from a year's severe illness and am a general noodly-armed, spazzy noob. He didn't go lightly, which I could deal with since I know some people don't have a "dimmer switch" when it comes to power, but every time I pushed forward and put the pressure on his personal space he would punch me in the head. Hard. These weren't open handed checks, but proper closed-hand punches that snapped my head back like you'd snap a pencil.
It annoyed me because closed-fist punches are disallowed both in sparring and competition, so they came as a complete surprise. I posed absolutely zero threat to this guy so dirty tactics like that were also really uncalled for. At the end of the round my neck hurt like hell and I could see that he didn't give a ****, so rather than carry on and get flustered or call him out while his blood was up I just said "that's it, I'm done", sat out for one round (we had odd numbers so this didn't attract attention) and then just found a different partner.
(I found out later that he'd done the same thing to Fuzzy, who dealt with the situation much more directly and gave him a good whack in the legs. So I took some comfort in that.)
Not sure what the rules are in your club, but in mine it would have been perfectly acceptable for you to refuse to practice with this clown, or to bow out mid-round if he is being a jerk like that.
Breathing and mindfulness.
If you want a good book to get you started, read this work by a Vietnamese Thiền (Zen) Buddhist. You can finish it in an afternoon.
It would have been acceptable in ours too. Perhaps it's because I'm new (or been ill for so long I'm sick of having to draw attention to it all the time) but I felt insecure about causing a fuss right there and then, so tried to be understated.
Originally Posted by NeilG
I did refuse to spar with him again, and definitely feel no problem doing so in the future. There are much better partners that regularly take classes, I'll leave him to the big boys who will sock him one when he gets arsey like that again. At least until I'm strong enough to do it myself, anyway. :P
My mother, who is now a full fledged Buddhist monk, started her practice with the author. Based on her description and the three books I've read, I've always been highly impressed by him.
Originally Posted by W. Rabbit
He contracted malaria before he left Vietnam and is always cold, so he wears these bulky robes even when it's hot outside. He's a very tiny man, and the thought of this small wise man in bulky robes always made me smile.
In all the times and places I've been training, I just haven't had a good enough reason to get angry at another student/instructor/whatever. Not so much because I don't have a reason to be upset, but because I'm too distracted by enjoying myself or attempting to develop competency.
I can only remember twice getting really worked up/over emotional on the mat. Once was while I was training MMA, we were working stand up, and my coach was basically just punching me in the face alot. It got beyond frustrating. He said something like notice I keep doing the same thing over and over? And I was like how could I not notice that? Notice I don't know how to properly react you bastard? Then he lit me up and crushed my nose with a jab I walked into and I got pissed and threw my mouth piece.
The other time was the day I got my blue belt. Coach had everyone line up against the wall and made me roll with everyone starting from standing one after the other. At the time I just thought he was being an asshole, as he'd had me do this before (note, up to this point he hadn't had anyone else do this, and hadn't ever promoted anyone (as promotions had always been done when Marcelo Alonso was up for a seminar), so I just honestly thought he was being an asshole. I was pretty pissed, and exhausted when he gave me my blue after it was all said and done.
Had to turn away from the class as I couldn't really hold back the tears after being so pissed, and basically giving up several rolls ago, and then getting a blue after 4 years of blood sweat and tears...
Other than those two times, I've always been pretty relaxed on the mat. I've learned to be patient. I recognize terrible positions are temporary, and that I'll escape most of them if I'm calm and patient.