About 3 months ago I had the pleasure of getting thrown on my head. My 3rd concussion in my life. Was told I got thrown with something like a suplex. I don't remember a fucking thing except going in for (possibly the weakest ever) Ogoshi. Next thing I know I'm flat on my back with a train horn in my ears and everything looked like a strobe light through a colidescope. My first reaction was, "Oh ****! I broke my neck!" I sat up and looked around and eventually realized I was in Judo and had just got thrown. I tried to stand up I guess and don't remember doing it, but remember being a few feet away from where I was on my back, but on my knees. Someone asked me, "do you know where you are?" for some damned reason that pissed me the hell off and I snapped, "Yeah, I know where I am!" I remember after I regained my vision people were just looking at me and Sensei looked like he just saw a ghost.
Anyway, here I am 3 months later still ate the **** up. I got over the dizziness and the zombies, regained my motor skill, and regained most of my equilibrium, except a couple days this week I woke up with vertigo that lasted about 4 hours. Thursday I thought I had my first symptom free day, until, doing uchikomi and had to count in Japanese. Half way through all the damned words were in my head at the same time and I couldn't remember which one went where. So, in front of everyone, I had to say, "I forgot".
My wife tells me I've been acting like an asshole lately. I've noticed that I'm getting pissed off at damned near everything, and my emotions are running crazy. Seriously, a vet told me about something they did to a rat in Iraq and I felt like crying. No ****! I'm getting pissed off at everything, even little things.
I almost quit Judo twice because I'm blowing things out of perportion. I can't do simple math and I'm a math guy! It's frustrating! I seem normal, but, I'm ate the **** up in the head now. People at work still expect me to excel and I fail. I'm up for a promotion but can't even keep things straight and I'm looking like a fucktard all the time. I try to explain to people that I had a brain injury and they look at me like I'm full of it and still expect me to be normal. It's like, people think a concussion is no big deal.
One day I tried to get something from a vending machine. I must've stood there for 5 minutes. All the numbers and letters looked like greek. I recognized them but didn't know what the **** they were. At first I laughed all this off. But, now, 3 months later, I'm having emotional bullshit. Anxiety is through the roof!
I can't watch MMA, in class I have panic attacks and extreme fear when I see people get thrown. Hell, I tried to explain the difference in Yuko and Wazari to a kids parent during a tournament the other day and just realized I wasn't making any sense. On top of all this, the past 2 weeks my back is killing me. From the base of my skull to the middle of my back is brutal, advil doesn't help, asperin doesn't help, so I started drinking again. Which is stooped. I hate drinking, but it actually kills the pain.
So, now, I'm worried I'm going to turn into a drunk, and I'm worried I won't be normal and have to quit Judo. How did/do you guys deal with concussion issues?
I'm going to England for a couple weeks April 4 and will see a quack after.