We have a female brown belt at my school. She's kind of an institution having trained there longer than just about everyone else. She's also the only consistent female that's trained at our school. I roll with her all the time and show her the same consideration I would a man that was her size, but taking into account her advanced skill level.
We've had a few other women come and go and some that train with us intermittently when home from college.
I'd definitely say fewer women start JJ than men, but the overall attrition rate once beginning training appears pretty constant to me across genders. If it weren't for having to assist with teaching occasionally, I wouldn't even bother learning someone's name until they had been there a few months.
That instructor sounds like a douche. If you don't provide a comfortable, respectful, and safe training environment, you'll lose out on lots of potential students. Treating anyone at your school as different, even if it's ostensibly preferential, only alienates them.
All this talk about comfort and safety is making me woozy.
Just step on the mat, no matter what you'll stick around.
I stuck around for years in Aikido and I often showed up when nobody else did and trained by myself with the wooden sword. The junior instructor (the only one that showed up sometimes) would bully me all the time until I got into a fight with him in the men's bathroom, he was stronger, and much more physically fit than I was, I got beaten up but he never bullied me again.
It was frustrating as the fiery pits of hell but I stuck around and I still showed up for HIS sessions.
Years later I split my spine in half and I'm still training. It hurts on every possible occasion and I'm risking paralysis when I do (according to the doctors anyway). But I'm still sticking around because I want to get stronger and better.
My mate tore his knee ligaments and he was still going to train before he had an operation, he could barely walk. It was funny to see someone walk into the gym on two canes.
If you really want women to last in martial arts stop making excuses for them. I fight with a girl like I do with a guy of that size, no holding back. I even go easier on small people to use less strength and more technique, it's not out of consideration for their feewings, **** them, it's because I want to use this opportunity to practice my technique so that I can get better.
Everyone's talking about how the instructor is a douche causing the girls to leave but none are talking of the women that left being weak-willed.
My point is: If me and my best mate could get through injuries, no shows and bullying, a woman sure as **** can get through someone who wants to cop a feel, just avoid rolling with assholes simple as that, and if that gym is full of assholes she will find another gym.
Like I said I don't get what the big deal is.
I hope nobody calls me a misogynist I'm getting really rather sick of the word.
If you take a moment to wipe your tears and reread my post with clear vision you will realize that there's nothing misogynistic about it, maybe fucksticky, yes, but not misogynistic.
Basically what I'm saying is no hand-holding for anyone, women are emotionally strong enough to handle themselves and if a woman really wants it she will stick around despite everything.
Sorry if that doesn't cater well into your WKS.
White Knight Syndrome:
The most dangerous kind of sexism.