Etiquette in BJJ - Did I violate it?
First off I wanted to apologize for being a bit of a !@$%y douche earlier. I was being arrogant and recognize that now.
Anyway, I have a question about BJJ etiquette and if I violated it or not today.
For rolling, I was paired with a girl (first time I rolled with a girl - aren't many in my gym). I decided that I wouldn't treat her any differently than any of my guy partners (assuming that would be sexist) and try my hardest. After all, as I small guy myself I must face much stronger guys than me all the time and they usually don't go easy on me.
We started standing and I immediately tapped her with a guillotine as she attempted to shoot at my legs. She seemed irritated by this, but brushed it off.
We then rolled again, I decided to try a take down and move it to the ground so we had a chance to practice more BJJ. I successfully pulled a sweep and took her to the ground. From there a long battle ensued where I tried to use as little force as possible and focus on technique. Finally she got me in her guard, which I tried to pass but she clamped me down by pulling me deep into her guard with my collar. At this point she began to attempt a collar choke. I knew that I was pretty deep in her guard and escaping would be difficult; she may have time to pull the choke if I let up on my defense. So instead I decided to counter choke her to draw her attack off me. It worked and I was able to get the choke, but as I drew in to finish, my partner stopped me and told me that "Something is really wrong with you if you try to choke me in my guard. You should be trying to get out", she was really pissed at me, I could tell and was really bitter about my move. So, thinking I had done something wrong, I apologized and tried to break guard. Anyway, long story short, I ended up finally losing to an armbar at the end of the match.
But thinking about it afterwards, I don't think I did anything wrong. On the one hand, it is probably good practice for me to try to break guard and pass and I should work on it. On the other, if it is such a bad idea for me to attempt a choke in her guard, she should demonstrate that by stopping me, instead of patronizing me when she cant defend against my choke.
Did I do something wrong? Or was she just being a poor sport because she was losing?
Also, I noticed that other guys were going easy on her. Is it commonplace to go easy on women in BJJ? This seems against the whole point of training; she would be getting a false sense of her ability if that were the case and wouldn't know how to handle someone stronger.
So anyway, was I breaking etiquette by going for the choke?