Mahayana Soto Zen and BJJ/Judo for the high functioning win.
At an extreme level look at people who cut weight. And how that leaves them mentally vunerable.
You need to compete with yourself more than compete with others. The training is about you not them. Reward yourself mentally when you succeed as much as you can. acknowledge that success in your head. And set yourself reasonable goals.
You don't need to win in sparring.
Being a white belt is all about survival.
I think you should focus on the positives. You are facing your fears and you should be proud. I have anxiety issues and just do my best when in class. It's going to take time. Its going to take a mulit facet approach, most likely, to overcome these issues. Therapy, SD training, facing your fears and working through them. We are not perfect just focus on doing the best you can.
I make fun of myself for my percieved lack of progress. But I keep going to class. Took me almost three years, with a lot of time off for injuries, just to make green belt (it's okay to laugh here). Today I got my biggest compliment ever. I rolled with a brown belt I respect a lot and after seven or eight minutes he submitted me but as we finished he said "Whew, I weathered the storm." Made me feel pretty good, never would have had that feeling today if I had quit.
I can share something from own experience with BJJ. Lately I have been getting really freaked out when someone has me in side control, getting really claustrophobic, then tapping.
It was really getting me down, I was panicking. The thing is, I was getting more and more depressed after each roll and it was affecting my game more and more. I thought I was lacking something mentally that would stop me from succeeding Then someone showed me how to breath in when someone was just about to press down on my chest, then only take really small short breaths.
It was amazing, no panic. Did it the old way, panic came back. It wasn't some mental weakness on my own part, it was a physiological response that my body was doing to me. My body was the enemy this time, not my mind.
I might not be able to convey how good that made me feel, but I felt good and could move on.
Grappling, I think, is one of the hardest sports you can do, it's like running the 400 while someone is trying to choke you out.
I keep in my mind, so I stay positive, that corny saying about eating an elephant. One bite at a time.
Alright folks I'm headed out to the gym now to watch a no gi takedown class and participate in plain ol' vanilla boxing. I figured it' can't hurt to watch a class even if I'm limiting myself to only doing one class per day - and I love boxing. Need to practice my stand-up game too.
To be fair, I've never felt this sort of anxiety during stand-up. As a kid (think ~12 years old) I never lost a fight, though I never really got into too many either - and they were won mostly with my fists and elbows. So I'm way more confident in that area than my ground game!
I'm admittedly nervous, my stomach is in knots about telling my instructor what happened. Everyone said I shouldn't be embarrassed and even I know I shouldn't be but I still feel this strange twinge of shame from somewhere very, very deep. Also we have a new boxing coach at the gym that I get to meet today and I don't want him to think ill of me (he's ex-golden gloves IIRC, don't know his name off the top of my head)