I would add that you should definitely let any and all coaches and instructors know about this (in time, of course, don't rush anything now). Firstly because your coach will be prepared if they have to help you snap out of another episode, and second, so they can help you through the healing process. I'm sure most MA coaches aren't certified psychotherapists, but support from people you look up to can and always will be a good thing. I would like to assume that an MA instructor has gone through women's self defense classes from time to time, so they may even have a few pointers on how to keep your cool when your shrimps go "nope."
I think this is pretty private stuff and you should only tell your coach and/or partners if you feel comfortable with that. Your therapist can teach you grounding exercises fairly quickly to help you cope with flashbacks if necessary.
Keep training hard! And keeps up with the therapist! All the best. :)
PS: I've had panic attack on the mat too, you're not the only one! :)
Thank you all very much, I really appreciate the replies I've gotten. It does help to know that I am not alone in feeling this and that it does get better. I'm still pretty rattled, I might have to take one of my benzos to calm down and get to bed. Hopefully my therapist will have some good input for me tomorrow. Every time I think I'm 'over' something like this, I'm not. My brain seems very good at pretending that things are ok.
I want to go through and reply to some stuff but I'm exhausted and I think a refreshing sleep might be in order.
Fwiw I've tapped from panic too. I'm claustrophobic and I train with giants. I've been training for almost six years and I still have I concentrate when I get to much pressure on my face (like under mount or north/south).
just keep going back.
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Relax, ************. Anxiety attacks can hit you anywhere at anytime while doing anything. The issue is somewhat BJJ, but it's probably more anxiety. Talk that **** out with your therapist.
I don't understand why you would think it's embarrassing, motherfuckers have folded up on the floor while doing simple **** like cooking and then exploded into paroxysms of crying and ****. Don't beat yourself up over that ****, you just going through the recovery phase of the illness. Let that **** slide. Ride that **** out. Hit up the therapist, keep doing that jits.
Incidentally, I've never tapped from panic, because 1) I'm not a ***** but more importantly because 2) I don't have an anxiety disorder (knock on wood). The anxiety disorder is far more important than the tapping. Everybody taps.
Well this has been well covered, also it will get easier with more time on the mat
At least you have a reason. Better then curling up and crying because you lost.
A few points; harden up and kick ass.
Two: go slowly. No need to rush into too many classes, too quickly.
Three: it's ok. I've had issues during class, my gym services a lot of cops....they get issues. It's not a big deal.
Four:drink plenty of water
- Anxiety disorder is not claustrophobia, but perhaps some of these ideas for dealing with claustrophobia could still be useful: Grappling with Claustrophobia in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu
- Obviously, the decision to tell the instructor is yours. If I were teaching a class where someone was prone to anxiety or panic attacks, though, I’d want to know—even if I couldn’t help directly, at least I could be mindful of it, default to “Take it easy, relax, breathe” rather than a misguided though encouraging “Come on! Get moving!”, and so that if you were to have a serious panic episode, it wouldn’t catch me by surprise and freak me out. That said, the concerns of someone with anxiety disorder are obviously more impactful and take priority, ergo your decision.
- You could ask a black belt—two female BJJ black belts take questions from all comers. I wouldn’t be surprised if, with 24 years of experience between them, they’ve had and helped students with similar issues.
- Really, really don’t be embarrassed. Especially in the beginning, as others have said, people tap out to all kinds of things. A while back I rolled with a white belt—a guy in good shape, considerably bigger and stronger than myself—who would immediately tap every time I took mount, because he just found the pressure and sense of being trapped too much to take.
- Never be afraid to sit out when you need it. Everybody has off nights and needs to sit out rolling sometimes; beginners especially are often out of shape, or even if they’re in shape blow their energy too quickly. If you don’t want to talk about it, nobody’s going to look askance at you for taking a breather.
We have a ground and pound drill for the fighters that will tend to do that to them.
Martial arts can be uncomfortable mentally as well as physicly. I believe you can condition your emotions the same as you condition you body.
And that all martial artist need to accept that they will have really bad head **** days