So what the **** do I do now? My life's plan was to be Jason Bourne by the time I turned 28, unassuming, but un-fucking touchable in the streets. I would be able to lay out a ************ in the streets faster than he could grab my wrist and say 'I'm mugging you'. But **** that, I haven't trained properly in a very long time. My boxing record is 2-3 and my MMA record is 0-1. And my 'career' started 6 years ago.
I almost wish I weren`t interested in martial arts anymore because it wouldn`t all be so frustrating. Every motherfucking time I think I find some place in which I may be able to train, there is always some bad **** attached. Either them ninjas there is useless and **** or they don`t know what the **** they're doing or the motherfucking boxing coach shows up once every blue moon and I have to train by myself with a motherfucking bag for 2 weeks and get one session of padwork that lasts 1 minute every month. Or the fucking police are coming in there to lock that **** down because the mother fuckers had 300 kilos of weed in a 55 gallon drum next door. How do you even get 300 kilos of weed into a 55 gallon drum?
What the ****, man, what the ****? How does one deal with this ****. It's at the point where I'm going to go from Jason Bourne to Jason Vorhees and just murder a string of motherfuckers with a machete because there isn't any point to life anymore.
Ah well. Are there any recommendations to ease the pain? Do I start watching videos and doing drills against an imaginary opponent? Do I practice armbars on a bamboo stick in a cane field somewhere? Or do I murder 100 people?
****. I can't even watch hentai anymore.