I LOL'd like crazy.
Saerch Funkshun Knob.
I would dig it up for you but I'm on my phone.
I go to Judo off and on because of my crappy schedule. One day, a friend of mine who competes in strong-man competitions was telling me about this great judo place he went to. I had previously bragged about how I had choked out a black belt at this place, which of course he bragged about. I have never been totally sure I actually did choke him out, or he just gave it to me, because the guy is really big and strong.
So I went to practice and at the end of we played "sumo". My friend is a powerful guy, not very tall but the same weight as me, his being muscle and mine being about forty pounds of fat.
We line up, and he obviously wants to kick my ass. He's a xtian fundie and I'm a "lib" shall we say, so we argued about politics once and it got heated. I put on my game face and coach was a little wary "okay guys, this is just for fun". I'm thinking "yeah right".
Coach yells "go" and he heads straight at me, gives me a solid push and I turn into a complete noob and turn my back trying to run away because he's like an oncoming train. I stop and he comes up right on my back, fits in and my training kicks in. Beautiful hip throw. He goes flying out of the ring.
Thank god I have practiced that throw a thousand times.
Been working at the same place for a while, got a new hire, bodybuilder about my height but outweighs me in muscle by about 60+ lbs. Im not that big of a guy, people usually dismiss me because of my small delicate asian frame, we get to talking one closing night and he finds out my two favorite hobbies. One of them being martial arts and what not ( i was doing Jujitsu at the time and had been doing it for about 6 months). He begs me to take him with, i imply that we may just end up sparring. Pridefully he says he outweighs me by a lot and he would not be very surprised if i could not submit him or take him on in standup because he did some boxing. A couple weeks roll by and we end up carpooling to my school. We usually start the class off with some bag work, then roll a little bit, then standup...whatever the instructor feels like. We end up partnering up, and i am a little nervous that his muscle and weight would get the best of me. We went for a one minute round.
Submitted him about 3-4 times.
Needless to say i did not rub it in his face, he gave me big props and we still hang to this day, very cool guy. We did end up standup standup sparring and he was not as good at boxing as i anticipated. I was very satisfied at the progress i made in as little as 6 months.
Zen thread reminded me...
I picked up Heidi at her apartment. Her weird speedfreak boyfriend was there saying some **** as she climbed in the '72 Ford 150, sitting next to me, the driver. Next to her was Todd, a very strong guy (all hormones, he said in high school his buddies lifted weights and no one got as big as he - he lifted beers and joints), and next to him was Robert, an excon (but a nice guy, I mean wtf, his dad had his head chopped off by the Mexican Mafia and he and his brothers [who didn't look too much alike...] all were in and out of the jail or joint). So there were four of us in a big old pickup and Todd leaned back and put his arms along the top of the seat in back of us all.
Idiot speed freak makes some aggressive weird comment as we pull out, something we guess about Todd touching Heidi or something. We ignore him and drive four blocks to a sixplex apt to mow. We'd started working and suddenly Freak shows up and threatens to beat up Todd with a broom stick. Todd says bring it on. I jump on Freak and take away the stick. He jumps up and yelling, "Fucking karate bullshitter!" and other choice remarks, charges me throwing punches.
I step back into stance and just before I went to nail him in the groin with a front snap kick, the weirdest thing happens. My mind sez, "What am I going to do?" Other part of mind sez, "I dunno, let's see what he does." Then both parts of my mind kinda realized that there was a screen that was the picture of what was happening and said, "Oh, we are watching this like a movie, let's see what Pat does next because it's OBVIOUS that we aren't in charge, we're just watching and making comments." The commentators watched and approved of the snap kick and the way Freak fell to the ground.
And he dropped and stayed down and then the cops came and drug him off. And since then I've always known, that if push comes to shove, if the **** hits the fan, I don't need to think about what to do because I'm not really in charge. The conscious brain, the blabber mouth who has a comment about everything, the voice I thot was me is some bullshitter who just goes on and on. Some guy who lives way deep in here, some guy who doesn't get excited or say much, he's the one in charge, and he seems to have taken all those years of training and learned something. In this case he/I used the minimum technique to end the threat; Freak was dropped, but wasn't injured, and it was just like watching a movie.
Seems arbitrary how you do not consider the training as part of you. You consider your face, your intelligence, your hair & your other body parts as part of who you are and yet you do not consider the martial arts training as a part of the individual that is you.
Seems like intellectually dishonesty to me. Kind of like how some people consider who they are at work as not the "real" me.
You gotta love these threads.
Ever notice how its usually a lot of the same old codgers on here sharing their stories?
Rec league hockey fight story: I only have two and I'm pretty sure I've shared the kiddie-league one on here before. This is men's beer league stuff - serious business.
I'm a goalie, so fisticuffs usually isn't part of my job on the ice, unless there's a third man in situation - which rarely happens in rec league games because we r supposed to be having fun, eh ?
Its a regular old game, with my team leading 3-2 and the opposition is pushing in the final two minutes , trying to tie it up.
Asshole winger on the other team crashes the net after I cover the puck up in the crease and purposely drives his knee into my head while pretending to trip over me.
I'm certain he did it on purpose, because he knows I'm a hothead and wants to throw me off my game.
Unfortunately, my d-men that night were a couple of wankers so , no back up.
I get up, incensed, and shove the guy as he's starting to rise as well ( with a sarcastic grin on his face, no less).
I'm like " You cocksucker..don't be a fucking prick "
He replies " **** you !"
Now I know that dropping the gloves is not to my best advantage, cuz goalie gear. But I've had enough of this dick, he's been slashing at me all night, poking me, now he knees me in the head. If my usual d-man Marc was there, he would have put this knob through the end boards in the 1st. But he's not, so I decide, screw it..
When you fight in rec league its an automatic toss - no matter what your position. That's why your teammates don't want their goalies fighting. If I get tossed, the draw goes to center ice and the net gets turned around to face the end boards for the duration of the game ( making it harder, but not impossible, for the opposition to score with no goalie in net). There's less than two minutes left and I figure **** it, we're a better team, my d-men tonight are pussies, so I'm going to have at this guy.
I toss my trapper and blocker to the ice , skate a quick circle and turn back towards asshole, and challenge him.
" Let's go !"
He looks at me incredulously..goalies just aren't supposed to behave this way !! Instead , we are supposed to lose our cool and take a two-minute slashing penalty - and hopefully yap off to the ref and receive an extra two for unsportsmanlike conduct.
But not this goalie..I'm riled up now.
Although dumbfounded, he drops his stick and mitts and assumes the position. He's a big guy, but I can tell he's one of these guys who counts on his size to keep him out of fights, not in them.
I figure, with all this gear on my best strategy is to bull rush him into the boards/glass and try to pin him and land a few shots. So that's what I do..
Full steam ahead I rush in and grapple his arms, trying to use my momentum to propel him back against the boards, on the way in he lands a couple of weak punches. No biggie, they're off the top of my head.
Unfortunately, my strategy fails because with the big pads on my legs, I can't quite generate enough speed rushing in to get him all the way back into the boards. Meanwhile he's prying, trying to get his right arm free. So I decide to go for the oldest hockey-fight move in the book - the jersey. I reach around his neck and grab a handful of jersey and yank it - its not supposed to work against a seasoned fighter - right up over his stupid head ! I'm amazed it actually worked , this guy's an even bigger idiot than I thought lol
So now he's blind and its tossin' time.
I throw about three or four hooks, one of which is a nice solid punch. He's panicking a bit now, cuz I'm making him look bad. I can hear my teammates tapping their sticks and cheering me on " Yeah, Get 'im Shawny !"
I'm in my glory, oh yeah..this is well worth getting tossed out of the game !
He throws a blind punch and it actually hits pretty good.
I figure, hell..I better end this while I'm still ahead. So I throw a couple more , wait until I land at least one solid, he tosses a couple of good ones, then wriggles his head out from under the jersey, his face is red, panicky - then I go for the takedown; reach up and under and basically just fall on top of him. I'm exhausted..
The fight's over...one of my teammates pulls me up, the ref separates us. I feel bad because I know it was selfish, now my team is down a goalie for the remainder..
Turns out alright though, because they fail to tie it up and we get the W.
As usually proves to be the case, I see the guy at the rinkside bar afterwards and it turns out he's not really an asshole, just competitive, like me.
We buy each other beers.
" nice tossin' buddy.."
" yah..nice tossin'"
All's well that ends well.
My first story that I heard, rather than starred in. This came from one of our KK bbs who trained under Benny Urquidez (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benny_Urquidez) for a year in CA. This was some years ago, fit's about Benny and Bill Ryusaki, wo is now in his late 70s. Bill is from The Big Island of Hawaii and trained as teen in judo and Shotokan, then bb'd in Hawaiian kempo (newish name, I dunno what it was called in the 50s, just depends on school of the time, but it's the same guys) under William Chow and Marino Tiwanak after a group of Samoans beat him up and motivated him to learn more fighting skills than offered by Shotokan. He moved to the mainland and trained with Ed Parker in the late fifties and earned a bb in Kajukenbo from John Leoning in 1961. Bill is referred to a GM, grandmaster, having 6th or so dans in a couple arts (reportedly 7th in judo!?) and having his own school forever in CA. He's trained various Hollywood types, and Benny The Jet.
Benny and his first instructor, Bill Ryusaki, went to a tournament as spectators in LA. It was a nonsmoking venue, but a large obnoxious fellow sitting behind them lit up. Bill turned around and told the fellow that this was a no smoking venue and would he please put the ciggie out. The fellow said, "**** you." And blew smoke in Bill's face. The crux of this story is Benny's inability to act. He thought to himself, if I intervene, I'm saying that Bill's lost it as an old man and can't handle himself; I'll be insulting the Grand Master, a champion who awarded me my first black belt. On the other hand, if the fellow nails Bill, I'm an idiot for letting my old instructor, who frankly is old and not in the best fighting shape, get hurt. So Benny Urquidez, holder of numerous kickboxing championships, sits there thinking... Meanwhile, Bill stands up and turns toward the fellow, who also stands up, ready to fight. As the big fellow starts to move, Bill throws a short quick punch to the large fellow's solar plexus, KO! So Bill sits down, and the security guys drag off the large fellow. And Benny is very relieved.
Oldie, but goody?
Obnoxious smokers are the worst and deserve whatever they get IMO.
I can attest to the truth of this as an obnoxious ex-smoker.