Sometimes you've got to put your foot down and be the man. It's your job to protect your family from people who would do them harm. You should decide how to do that properly, then follow through accordingly.
I actually realized this as a teenager. You know how it is. You have a girlfriend and there's some bullshit teenage drama with some other dude who grabs her ass or something. You're about to whoop some ass and she talks you out of it. You listen because she's all doe eyed and has boobies and you don't want to upset her. Then you go home feeling like a big puss. **** that. That **** gets old. So sometime around the age of 17 I basically told my girlfriend that I'm the one who decides when to whoop some ass. And that was that. It feels GOOD!
And I get to go to bed every night knowing my family is as safe as I can possibly make them, not just as safe as someone else says I'm allowed to make them.
Look, that may work for you and your relationship, but the fact of the matter is that there's more than one way to skin this cat. And if she doesn't feel safer, then I'm not happy with the solution. She's a rational educated scientist with degrees coming out the ass, so I have faith in her ability to analyze facts, evidence, and use logic. It's one of the things I love most about her. She's also a feisty, rebellious person who naturally bucks at authority, and throwing down the "man" card would not only get me nowhere, but it would get me push back that a civil conversation could spare me.
She has some very rational fears of guns and their safety, and she needs to get further educated. That will be my path. Going caveman on her will not only repulse her, but frankly it'll repulse me too. That's not how I behave, and it would undermine the great deal of trust she has invested in me.
Smart people make stupid decisions contrary to the facts because they default to some ideology, emotional impulse, or taught prejudice. I have plenty of reason to believe that she won't do that, especially when it comes to statistical and empirical matters.
It's funny how that works. She wasn't a dumbass prior to that. It just didn't really click. Knowing in a logical, intellectual way that violence happens is one thing. Feeling fear provides a whole different level of understanding. And my wife's experience was just a tiny little taste. Some people don't get the chance to have that lesson.
I do hope you can convince your wife to see things your way. Good luck.
My dad grew up in a country house with a rifle behind every door, literally. He knew never to touch them except when an adult gave him permission. This point was driven home by the threat that things far worse than a shooting would happen to him if he did.
I have shown my guns to my son, but given the fact that males in my family tend to lack any common sense whatsoever until they're 20 something (my dad was a curious exception), he has no idea where I store them. Although he suspects the gun safe in my closet.
I practice getting it unlocked as a speed drill frequently. About four seconds from my bed to having the gun in my hand currently. I hope that's fast enough.
Based on the advice of Bullies here (yours specifically if I recall correctly), I decided against the biometric safe and went with finger combo.
It's a pistol safe.
Disclaimer, my closet is close to my bed and I have practiced this often. My initial time was 12 seconds.
Edit: I should also mention that I have a small motion sensor light aimed at the keypad so I can hit the numbers when all the rest of the lights are off. Yes, I'm serious. I'm working on being able to hit the numbers in the dark so I don't have to rely on the power being on when I want to open the safe.
Some day, Imma build me a right nice compound.