Universal, a billion bucks, and meth
This happened a while back...almost a year. I was working night shift at a coffee shop, and a guy wearing a white tank top, red shorts, belt, shoes, socks and carrying a little grey suitcase, that appeared to have been clumsily spraypainted with gold paint, walks in. He also had a big belt buckle, but I forget what it was about. He looks like a cartoon, but who doesn't at 5am?
He offers me a million dollar record deal, and says Universal signed him for a billion. After some time talking to me about it, I attempt to transition into something less-obviously-crazy I say something like, "wow, I'm tired, wish I could rest, but I gotta work".
To which he responds "I'm up because I was doing meth all day yesterday".
I didn't respond, but what the hell are you gonna say to that?