Oh Yeah? F**k Your New Year's Resolution
To all those people who had, cocked and loaded, a New Year's resolution to go to the gym on January first: the fact that you're unwilling to pull the trigger until an arbitrary date makes a much more poignant statement than any resolution.
Here's a crazy idea: how about doing it right fucking now? I mean now, not when you finish reading this, enn oh double-you now. What? You're still reading this? Ok, then I'll just assume you're telling me you're in ridiculous shape; you've got cardio like Arm Lancestrong and can deadlift a water buffalo. Good for you, then.
If that didn't describe you, you must have just gotten back from a crazy, balls-to-the wall workout where you came close to or actually puked once or twice all over your stupid-looking shoes. Great. Now wait a few hours (24 or so) and then do it again, rinse, repeat.
See how that **** works? It's almost like magic; getting off your ass grants you the magical powers of accomplishing things. And making it a habit means you don't need any stupid fucking resolution.
Happy New Year; who gives a ****? The only date that matters is now.