Thankfully, "that guy" doesn't last very long at a good school.
Upper belts enforcing "no spazzing" with 4 minutes of knee on belly, "no dickheads" by nobody wanting to roll with him, and "no visible nut sack" by bringing out the tazer weeds people out early on.
"Did your balls just peek out?"
"NO!! NO !!! GOD NO!!! THEY DIDN'T!!! PLEASE!!! BELIEVE ME!!"
I was a little That guyish when I started Hokutoryu. With four years of hapkido under my belt(which was back when I was a kid), I used to 'correct' the errors the others were making and talking about how 'in hapkido we did this and that'. Luckily I soon understood just how stupid I was acting and dropped it.
I will tell you this much I felt like that guy last night.
It was my 3rd night of doing BJJ. I am a little out of shape(ok a lot) and I still haven't really recovered from the other nights yet so my legs are already burning and fairly tired.
So we are doing mostly drills last night that required our partner to jump guard and to hold them up.
Yeah I think I dropped my partner 3 maybe 4 times.
Yep on the next jumping guard technique I watched a purple belt sit there and try and figure out how to tie his belt for a while. Hint taken.
I do my best to help keep "that guy" out of my gym.
Usually a "misplaced" kick right in the solar plexus separates the men from the boys. I'm just lucky I haven't done that to a guy with any wrestling skills yet.
I've gotten the "What if such and such knives blah blah Jeet Kun Do mutter mutter this is how I did it in TKD" before. I used to try and take the time to answer those questions to some degree after training. But then there would just be more and more.
So now my policy is "Shut the **** up or I'm going to punch you in the throat."
One "that guy" was the dude whose sparring gloves smelled like Limburger cheese. You could smell them from six feet away.
I haven't seen (or smelled) him in a few years... he probably had to have his hands amputated or something.
While I was doing systema, there was a bunch of weird guys- it’s an art that only seems to appeal to kind of an odd crowd. There’s this one heavy guy who’s only interested in the “real world”. The assistant instructor was showing a compression lock on the knee that you could get while rolling, and he said something about how he couldn’t see himself doing something like that, because if he was fighting someone with a knife that wouldn’t be a good idea. I replied that altercations can happen at all different levels of force and you’re severely handicapping yourself in reality if you’re only training for the most dangerous scenarios. While grappling continuously, with only enough of a break to switch partners, several people including him were gassed, while I was doing fine since I was relaxed and using people as lumpy mattresses while they spazzed out. While rolling with him (and keeping a top position) he said something about how in real life, it would be a good time to pull out his knife, and I said something about how I was the one in a murdering position.
/shows RNC to new guy
"in karate we do that, only we use it to break their necks"
/walks away to find someone to uchi-komi with
We have that guy at the Judo Club I attend. In his past life he was supposed to be, by his own account a competitive Muay Thai Guy or Kickboxer, but based on his work ethic it may have been Tae Bo that he studied. His current game plan seems to be to make friends with the best competitors as that somehow increases his credibility in the gym. Every time we start randori he appears to be nursing some new phantom injury so he can watch and critique.
The escapes from osaekomi waza in most Judo clubs in the UK are, bizzarely, appaling and unrealistic eg. the 'sit up' escape from a Kesa gatame. That's right the national governing body for Judo in the UK seriously teaches doing a sit up as a valid method of escaping from a scarf hold! :rolleyes:
Anyway so in attempt to correct this appaling clusterfuck I showed the orange belt I was working with how to use frames and shrimping to create space and then pull guard as a method of escaping from mune gatame/side control. His response... 'well it doesn't matter because I wouldn't let myself get in that position anyway' my jaw hit the mat. I couldn't believe the guy seriously thinks that with his mighty orange belt skills he could avoid being held down in mune gatame.
This kind of bizarre refusal to accept advice from me on correcting awful technique has happened a few times now, so now I have a policy that if they won't listen to my advice then I just don't help them out again and I make a point of not letting them achieve at all in randori. Normally when working with lower grades I let them achieve - give them openings to pass my guard, deliberately turtle so they can practice taking the back, putting myself off balance and making deliberate mistakes in tachiwaza, but if you're going to be a clown and refuse advice then I have no time for you.
The last time I visited my club, "that guy" was explaining to the teacher how that technique 'is supposed to work' and how they used to do it in his old club.
Instead of taking it as my place to kick his a$$, I decided to teach the rest of the class a lesson and told him to come up front and teach that to everyone. Meanwhile, I took my teacher out to the parking lot, we got in my car and went to mickey D's!
(We also had a talk about when he started letting students speak in his class, to which he replied, "Eh, I old, you know. . ." and, laughed.)
Can I borrow your wife?
Originally Posted by CoffeeFan
If not, do you rent her out?
How 'bout billable hours?