Damn Bro, sounds like you are neck deep in the bullshit. Lay off the drugs and hooch, get some excercise (lots of it) and eat healthy for a while. As much as anything, make up your mind that things are getting better. A lot of depression is the inertia of being in a rut, so anything (anything healthy that is) you can do "differently" to break the pattern will be to your benefit.
Your Pal in Oakland,