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Phrost
5/09/2010 10:43am,
http://www.bullshido.net/images/db/koscheck-daley-punch.jpg

You can't write a regular column about douchebags without occasionally getting a little douche on yourself. Of course, not literally, although the idea of walking around all day telling people you'd just been making a salad is mildly amusing. No, what I mean here is that he who fights douchebags must take care that he not become a douchebag himself.

I say this as a preface to this column because I had to defer to the better angels of my nature to avoid using the term "Cock Joshcheck" as I wrote this. I sincerely felt entitled to use this moniker for the guy, given his behavior last night. Also, as this is a MMA website and not a politics one, I had to refrain from making a "Daley-Kos" joke. But alas, I'm a dick, not a douchebag, so I did neither.

For those of you who were busy fapping to a Jet Li film, or playing Modern Warfare 2 instead of watching the UFC last night (in the case of the latter, you can do both; I did), there was a veritable douche fountain on display in the Josh Koscheck/Paul Daley fight. It was as if just before the fight, the Padouchesha Emperor, from his throne, commanded "The Douche must flow".

Ok, so you didn't read Dune either. Whatever. There were two incidents in the fight that will forever go down in MMA history as a low point. And by "forever", I mean, for a few months until the memory span of the average MMA fan expires.

1. CocJosh Koscheck blatantly faked being hit with an illegal knee. Seriously, I've seen better acting at a no-budget wrestling promotion out of Waco, Tx. He laid there on the canvas clasping his head when Daley's knee didn't even make contact with it.

2. Paul Daley clocked Koscheck after the final bell. Not much to explain here. He walked over and just suckerpunched him. And it was a crappy punch too, since it didn't wipe off Koscheck's perpetual ****-eating grin; it actually made it bigger.

The aftermath of this fight can be boiled down into two sentences: Dana White permanently barred Daley from ever fighting again in the UFC. And Koscheck admitted in a post-fight interview with ESPN that he'd been running his mouth to Daley during the entire fight, egging him on.

As someone who judges MMA I've seen hundreds of fights, close enough to have shirts ruined from bloodspatter (and, unfortunately, close enough to learn that you should keep your mouth shut at all times unless you want some dude's sweat flung into it.. *retch*). I can count on one hand the number of fights in which the two guys spoke to each other during the match. And that's not just because we've got some good refs out here, and maybe or some classier fighters. I've judged fighters from all over the planet, for M-1, Strikeforce, etc.

Nearly all of them kept their mouths shut.

Now don't misunderstand me here:

A.) Daley was wrong, no doubt about it. It doesn't matter if the lilly-whitetan Koscheck was whispering sweet nothings about Daley giving up fighting to go pick cotton into his ear. Clocking someone after the bell is a criminal act. If you can't settle it in the cage, train harder.

B.) I realize that animosity sells tickets. Ken Shamrock and Tito Ortiz are both masters at this. And they're both grown-ups in that once the fight is over, win or lose, it's time to move on. I don't think Koscheck has learned this lesson, or even the lesson that it really isn't personal.

Regardless, I'm aggravated. If it weren't for the fact that Mauricio "Shogun" Rua beat Lyoto Machida down so hard last night that a dozen Karate schools went out of business, I'd probably be genuinely cranky.

Instead, I'm simply looking forward to the humiliation Koscheck is going to suffer at the hands of GSP. I'm no fan of the French Canadian (or his floppy head), but nobody can dispute that he's a genuine class act, and that the sport needs one hundred and thirteen more fighters just like him.

Josh Coatcheck, Paul Daley, you are our co-Douchebags of the Month.

Ka-Bar
5/09/2010 11:40am,
Excellent choice, both guys were completely classless in that fight. I thought the pre-fight banter was amusing and was optimistic that after the fight, they would bury the hatchet a la Serra-Hughes or Oritz-Shamrock. I guess I'm just naive.

This is the second fight in a row Koscheck has faked getting hit by a knee. I don't care if your hair gets parted by Daley's knee or Daley's pinky toe poked you in the eye, you know the difference between that and actually getting kneed in the face. That's a dick move and the only reason he did it was because Daley broke free in the scramble and had some momentum on his side. Doesn't excuse Daley for throwing the knee, but the timeout sure iced Daley's momentum.

I'm dying to know what Koscheck whispered in Daley's ear. I think a smart PR move by Daley would have been to shrug it off, accept the loss and then tell the media what Kos said during a post-fight interview. Combine that with faking the knee and Daley can hype his was into a pretty quick rematch. Now he's fucked. And deservedly so.

Oh, and LOLlercoasters at "Daley-Kos"

Robstafarian
5/09/2010 12:13pm,
That was another in a series of great articles, but would you mind putting spoiler tags around the Rua/Machida comment?

marcusdbrutus
5/09/2010 12:15pm,
GODDAMMIT I FORGOT THAT WAS LAST NIGHT. ****.

Matt Phillips
5/09/2010 12:51pm,
goddammit i forgot that was last night. ****.
i know, it seems like it was at least thursday if not earlier. Drink less.

Neo Sigma
5/09/2010 12:53pm,
the Padouchesha Emperor

So, so many pushups.

hapkido_keith
5/09/2010 1:34pm,
Does this mean that he who controls the Douche, controls the universe?

Robstafarian
5/09/2010 1:59pm,
Does this mean that he who controls the Douche, controls the universe?

Dana White would like to think so.

hapkido_keith
5/09/2010 2:02pm,
Dana White would like to think so.

So Dana White is the Padouchesha Emperor. Ahhh it all makes sense now. Plans within plans.

Robstafarian
5/09/2010 2:20pm,
So Dana White is the Padouchesha Emperor. Ahhh it all makes sense now. Plans within plans.

That must mean that Scott Coker is the Kwisatz Haderach! "Dana White himself will be forced to deal with us!"

hapkido_keith
5/09/2010 2:39pm,
That must mean that Scott Coker is the Kwisatz Haderach! "Dana White himself will be forced to deal with us!"

He will attempt to destroy the douche, but in the end will become a slave to the douche himself.

This thread turned into a nerdfest remarkably fast. I <3 you guys. :new_Llol:

Matt Phillips
5/09/2010 2:47pm,
Josh is the one white crow that disproves the universal. Like Kravitz.

Neo Sigma
5/09/2010 4:58pm,
He will attempt to destroy the douche, but in the end will become a slave to the douche himself.

And in the end, having lost everything he is and a dead man by his own culture's standards, he'll walk off into a wing chun school, unable to make the sacrifice necessary to fulfill his terrible purpose.

Drake LaMancha
5/09/2010 5:05pm,
A good article all Koscheck should also be disqualified for life for the faking of illegal contact if it was that obvious. That imo is cheating plain and simple and grounds for DQ and being booted.

Mtripp
5/09/2010 5:08pm,
umm... let me put a black hat on for a moment.

Are we saying NO ONE in any other sport "acts" like something happened to get a ref call against their opponents?

We have never seen it in football? Or basketball?

How is this different?

Conde Koma
5/09/2010 5:17pm,
this isn't any different, and it's still bad in every instance.


what are you arguing? that it's okay?