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View Full Version : How Do Armbar: Reddit? Why yes you did (if "it" is the Book of Stupid)



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Phrost
7/27/2009 12:40pm,
What's up people? It's been a long time since we've done a HDA column, which is partly due to the fact that it's main author needs a new computer, and partly because generally every other discussion medium out there sucks so bad we've been keeping to ourselves.

But have no fear, we're back, and with the most noble of intentions to spotlight the worst MMA and Martial Arts-related discussion posts anywhere on the Internet.

Hesperus (http://www.bullshido.net/forums/member.php?u=57638), which is Greek for "guy who uses ladies handbag" dug up a gem of a discussion thread over on Reddit.com, which is apparently a location for neckbeards and sinophiles to share links to crap that their mothers weren't interested in going down to the basement to see.

The discussion centers around a video of some knucklehead demonstrating ridiculous "fighting" techniques that would most likely earn him a 7-night stay at the local trauma center should he ever try to use them on a person intent on causing him serious harm.

Actually, here's the video:


165http://www.bullshido.net/forums/vbtube_show.php?do=tube&tubeid=165#watch


That was painless, wasn't it? Just as painless as getting into a fight with this guy, we'd wager. Heh heheh heh... eeehh heheh heh heh heh.

Heh.

So now let's get to the business of making some people famous for being stupid. (Click the images to see the un-shrunk posts.)

Gian_Doe's expert insight on MMA comes from extensive training at Dave and Buster's:
http://www.bullshido.net/images/hda/reddit/1.png

ewokjedi may have the force with him, but he still has to clean **** out of his fur on a regular basis. This prevents him from understanding the meaning of the word "realism" and the related term "real-life". Neither of which are applicable to someone whose training largely consists of sparring with compliant, invisible opponents:
http://www.bullshido.net/images/hda/reddit/2.png

wushu18t sh18t out the following, pre-digested arguments:
http://www.bullshido.net/images/hda/reddit/3.png

PuppyHat and Shelleen are no doubt, both being invited by the "Official" Shaolin Temple to learn the secrets of Kung Fu for the low price of $13,485, not including room, board, and trips to the gift shop.
http://www.bullshido.net/images/hda/reddit/4.png

Tulku single-handedly redefines the word "gay". And yes, that is an intentional play on words: http://www.bullshido.net/images/hda/reddit/5.png

jotok's anecdote is an example of the phenomenon we identified several years back where anyone who witnesses at least one fight, automatically becomes an expert on all related subjects. We call this the Haggard effect because Ted Haggard was a fucking douchebag and needs more douchebag behavior named after him even if it's completely unrelated to why he's a douchebag:
http://www.bullshido.net/images/hda/reddit/6.png

modix... really? I know it's a low-hanging-fruit, but are we really that crass as to pluck that particular peach? Of course we are!modix needs to spend time with lessdix and more time training:
http://www.bullshido.net/images/hda/reddit/7.png

kerneltrap took a break from cramming down popcorn to pop onto Reddit and make a post in a jiffy. Unfortunately the rich butter topping coating his brain was so slippery he couldn't grasp the functions of keebars, armbars, and choke holds, respectively.

Yes, we realize that his username is probably not about popcorn, but do you really expect fucking Linux jokes on an MMA site? If you want to see a Linux joke just look at our servers. Anyway: http://www.bullshido.net/images/hda/reddit/8.png

Frobenius is undoubtedly a soccer mom, PTA president, and the parent of a kindergartner who goes to a school without playground equipment or competitive sports:
http://www.bullshido.net/images/hda/reddit/9.png

WendyLRogers2... **** you, WendyLRogers2. And WendyLRogers1... too:
http://www.bullshido.net/images/hda/reddit/10.png

Hesperus
7/27/2009 2:28pm,
Dude, you say no empirical evidence exists. Well, prove it.
12345

BestatwhatIdo
7/27/2009 4:25pm,
The guy in the video laughs like a retard...

anarki13
7/27/2009 5:38pm,
The guy in the video laughs like a retard...

BOTH OF THEM DO!
it was like Tae Kwon Do at the special olympics!

RondyR
7/27/2009 7:20pm,
Is the guy trying to do Drunken style, or is he just drunk? :/

Rawb_Prime
7/27/2009 7:50pm,
Ok. Now that was funny!

Kintanon
7/27/2009 9:20pm,
I can't read those things, the amount of stupid is overwhelming.

Marc Spector
7/27/2009 9:47pm,
"This meant that if he was hit on one side, and that part of the body moved more than an inch away from the blow, if a punch or kick hit on the other side, it would break something."

What the **** does that even mean? How do sentence structure?

BestatwhatIdo
7/27/2009 10:09pm,
At 3 seconds into the video, the honky is so happy he either just came in his pants or **** himself.


Or both.

PhillyLameSauce
7/28/2009 12:05am,
Its things like these, along with playing HALO 3 online and generally walking around in public, that infuriate me to the point where i want to /ragequit the human race.

I'll bet if we post a faux-fighting MMA style video on that sight all the chunners and krotty dudes will be like 'oh hes so totally kicking ass'

I have 12 years of Goju-ryu and Shoryn-ryu karate training, and the only thing it taught me was to not take Karate.

Daveoplata
7/28/2009 1:46am,
I loved the "grab him under the hips and pick him up" technique. And the butt bump thing.

hpr
7/28/2009 2:05am,
The sad thing is that almost everyone of us was mentally at that point somewhere along our lives.

The only difference is that we are cured.

Lu Tze
7/28/2009 11:32am,
Dude, you say no empirical evidence exists. Well, prove it.Jesus...

Marc Spector
7/28/2009 12:10pm,
The sad thing is that almost everyone of us was mentally at that point somewhere along our lives.

The only difference is that we are cured.

We need to develop some kind of vaccine.

EmperorCesar
7/28/2009 1:24pm,
We need to develop some kind of vaccine.
Kicking their ass should be a strong enough vaccine. (I hope)

datdamnmachine
7/28/2009 3:22pm,
The sad thing is that almost everyone of us was mentally at that point somewhere along our lives.

The only difference is that we are cured.

Not really cured, more so that we started acting our age over time; the technical medical term I believe is GTFU or "Grew The **** UP!"