"Honesty, Respect, Self Control, Humility, Indomitable Spirit.." - In other words... The teacher has never been in a fight... RUN.


Honesty = They tell EXACTLY how long it will take to get your black belt, and how much they will charge your credit card.
Respect = Actually means self deception in this case because you are told that the triple-super-lucky-star-whirlwind punch will hurt your opponent.
Self Control = You never do full-contact sparring so in an actual fight you automatically pull your punches.
Humility = You'll need it after you get your ass kicked by a 13 year old.
Indomitable Spirit = You will be brainwashed so badly that after your ass has been kicked, you still go to the same dojo and believe you are samurai warrior.

If i've just moved to a new town/city, I browse the dojos to look for somewhere to train. Often, I see plastered on the walls of a building, familiar catch-words that often mean sh*t-all in a fight.

I would like to propose new words to put on the front of a dojo.. something like...

Use a rock, Kick nuts, Look for cameras, Fight smaller people...

What catch-words would YOU use to describe your own Dojo???

This is NOT a Black Belt School

Martial arts are for fighting.

If you're looking for spiritual development there's a lovely church down the way.

Martial arts are for fighting.

If you're looking for spiritual development there's a lovely church down the way.

you may need to apply your self defence techniques there too :P

I guess I would want my schools keyword's to be "merciless," "repeated," and "headbutts."

Use a rock, Kick nuts, Look for cameras, Fight smaller people...Nah way, dude, havn't you heard, such tactics are ineffective compaired to wearing boxing gloves...

... Are you sure such dojos using obviously stupid words are not actually meant for kids? ... Make sure you're walking into an adults class, dude...

"A Martial Artist should train like a Martial Athlete"

"Fatigue makes cowards of us all"

^Both these quotes are on the wall at my gym.

My first instructor told me MA is hard, and if I'm looking for an easy way to be effective I should just get a gun... that is true.

If you're looking for spiritual development there's a lovely church down the way.

Yes, but do they have month-to-month contracts?


I want my dojo to say "free chips and salsa"

A school that stresses humility, respect, self control and indomitable spirit? What a bunch of assholes!

This is NOT a Black Belt School

My Judo school-This is a black belt school, as in most of us are black belts and will school you in how to properly execute ukemi against a fully resisting opponent. :blob9:

Nah way, dude, havn't you heard, such tactics are ineffective compaired to wearing boxing gloves...

no i hadn't heard that one... i must be outta touch

... Are you sure such dojos using obviously stupid words are not actually meant for kids? ... Make sure you're walking into an adults class, dude...

http://www.successmartialarts.info/

check the website out and see it for yourself..

and yes.. many dojos teach (babysit) kids to make profit too..

Teaching kids classes is a good thing. Teaching kids poorly is a bad thing.

I think I would like to see:
"We wash our mats regularly"

hahaha.. The BJJ mats at my school smell like salt and vinegar... and neither of those two ingredients have ever touched them. o_O