hey guys. just wondering what happens to you.

turned 21 yesterday. i did NOT tell my instructor when i showed up for the morning conditioning routine, because i know he is evil. so i make it through the day, and when i go for BJJ at night, one of my friends called him to let him now. i had already had 1 bday while training here, but i was new and no one knew about it.

according to him, my instructor first was silent, then said "why did he even come? he's so screwed" and then proceeded to begin speaking in latin.

i was one the most advanced guy present (lots of n00bs yesterday) and was teaching this guy, who was completely new, sidecontrol basics. my instructor orders everyone to stop, and form a circle. makes everyone congratulate and hug me.

then comes over, and throws me 5 times. mostly insanely hard hip tosses. orders everyone to do the same. after slam number 15, he decides everyone is too much of a ***** and can't throw hard for ****, and orders me to a corner. he then whips me with a belt 5 times, and orders everyone to do so as well. he who did not whip hard, got whipped as well.

"the thing is guys, everyone is going to congratulate him normally. given you have to be a freak to train here, we have to congratulate him like the freaks we are"

it didn't help that the morning conditioning routine included 2 rounds of 12x 20 seconds work/rest squats. needless to say, my ass feels... amazing right now.

so it's not enough we roll on the floor with sweaty men, on my birthday, they whip my behind as well. this is the kind of thing that really doesn't help the 'BJJ is not gay' claims.

That's a little weird.

I've seen birthday sparring and pushups and conditioning. The whipping is hazing no matter how you cut it.

oh, my instructor is a huge fan of hazing. generally, the more he likes you, the more he gets on your case.

if i get, literally, more than 10 seconds late to class, he makes me do 100 burpees. i have literally entered the gym and class has not begun, he orders everyone to begin warmup as soon as i go into the changing room to claim i was late and make me do 100 burpees.

if anyone comes in the gym and yells "hi ron", he claims i was talking, and that's 50 burpees.

this judo BB who trains with us now threw me around good one day, and he kinda yelled at him for just using judo and refusing to engage on the ground. so first he threw HIM around good, and then called me, and threw me the **** around worse, just so i was sure he was better at throwing than the other guy.

it's painful... but funny. he is a huge dick in a hilarious way. just the same way as when i'm broke and haven't paid the gym in 4 months, he will not even mention it and has ordered the secretaries to NEVER ask me for money, yet i've seen him kick guys out for being late on 2 payments. he also has our backs. he's always told me to avoid fights at ALL costs (and i always have), but that if i am ever in trouble and it's a not avoidable, he will round up everyone who's ever done vale tudo in this country in a matter of minutes.

so, yeah. it's the kind of relationship he has with his students.

****...

We had belt whippings at my first Judo school. Then later I went to a school that would throw you the number of times your age was. Old guys were screwed.

WTF's the matter with you people? o.O

WTF's the matter with you people? o.O

I would have expected a "in Soviet Russia, birthday whips you" type response from a SAMBO guy.


:wave:

Kohai: "It's my birthday."

Sempai: "Umm...yay."

Did they give you a dick in a box, too?

That's kinda weird, dude.

My instructor last year said, "Happy birthday. Glad you came to class tonight. Are you celebrating tomorrow instead or just going out afterward?"

Did they give you a dick in a box, too?

That's kinda weird, dude.

No, afterwards they all went to go see "He's Just Not That Into You"

I would have expected a "in Soviet Russia, birthday whips you" type response from a SAMBO guy.


:wave:
In soviet Russia, Vodka drink YOU! At least that's what happens on my birth day, some times the sambo guys are there, that's all.

No one cares a flying **** if its your birthday/anniversary/funeral at our club. We're not there to cut a fucking cake.

My instructor last year said, "Happy birthday. Glad you came to class tonight. Are you celebrating tomorrow instead or just going out afterward?"

:XXbazooka :occasion1

At my place, birthdays mean everyone gets to spar you in a row.

I don't know what happens for birthdays. Two instructors probably wouldn't care.

One instructor would probably give you (everyone) much entertainment (conditioning)